Page 160 of Balance
“Don’t give me that look, it’s true.” He pointed at me. “Your emotions are the reason you can’t meditate. It’s also the reason you can’t focus.”
I sucked in a breath, ready to let loose—
“I’m going to emphasize,again, that we do not expect anything from you. Wearen’t idiots and arewell awareyou may never want intimacy. We’re all entirely on board with following your lead, and that includes Jin.”
I opened my mouth to protest, but he silenced me with a sharp look. “You might not believe me, but he is willing to forgo your mate bond in order to respect your boundaries. He knows you might be scared to be with him—he’s a predator and he knows what that means.Thatis how much he cares about you.”
My heartbeat was thundering in my ears.
“That being said,” Miles continued, “Jin also does not need avirginbride. He’s told you this, yet you keep latching onto the idea. But that is not how mate bonds work.”
“But…” I couldn’t complete my thought—the ground had fallen from under me. I was floating, and the only thing keeping me tethered was the sound of Miles’s voice and the weight of his gaze.
“You’ve also already provided your own logic—with Finn. You’ve established that you are capable of healing from emotional wounds,” Miles said. “Which means youcanmove on from this.”
The earth fell further with every passing breath.
I gritted my teeth—why didn’t he understand? “I’m used goods.”
“You’re a person, not an object.” Miles tilted his head. “So that’s why you showed Huo your scar. Did you honestly believe it would make him lose interest?”
The world swayed around me. “N-n-no!”
I was notthatobvious. I opened up to Damen so he could understand…
Because he wanted to know…
“It is.” Miles frowned. “Well, you should give up. There’s absolutely nothing that would cause any of us to leave, not after everything we’ve been through together. You’re beautiful, no matter what happened, and fundamentally, you’re exactly the same person you’ve always been.”
How could he say that?
Miles nodded, squaring his shoulders in grim determination. “You’re always the same terrifying, violent, stubborn—”
“Hey!” Now this hadbetterbe Tu.
“—gentle, trusting, and selfless person in every life.”
My anger vanished and I pressed my hands over my warm cheeks. A sudden rush of self-consciousness flowed over me. I had to look a horrid mess from all the crying. “How can you be both violent and gentle?”
Literature was obviously not Miles’s strong suit.
“Did you ever look up the meaning of ‘mon rêve’?” Miles placed his hands on his knees, watching expectantly. His accent slightly colored his voice once more.
My heart fluttered dangerously. “W-who’s asking?” It was time to get some clarification.
“I’ve been myself,” Miles replied. “And also Tu. This really is a strange experience.”
Tell me about it, having Mu in my head was disturbing.
But mostly annoying.
“You didn’t answer the question,” Miles noted. “Did you look it up?”
I nodded, covering my mouth. But he wasn’t having it and pulled my hand back down, holding it between his.
“And what does it mean?” he asked.
I glanced away, willing the night air to cool my skin. “…my dream.”
