Page 88 of Balance
I wanted to press, but this didn’t seem to be the place. I couldn’t stop this uncomfortable feeling in my stomach, and the victorious expressions on Damen and Titus’s faces weren’t comforting at all.
Especially combined with the conflicting emotions in Miles’s downcast gaze; he was trying to hide it, but it wasn’t enough. There was something deeply troubling him about this conversation.
But then Miles blinked, and the doubt left his expression. “Let’s get you packed up,” he said, moving to his feet. “The sooner I’m done with this, the faster we can get back home.”
It wasn’t until after he’d left that I realized Julian and I never had a chance to tell him of our other little discovery.
Chapter Nineteen
Bianca
Rush
“He’s so determined…” I whispered to Julian, still holding his hand.
The two of us followed the others to the campsite and remained hovering on the outskirts while Titus, Damen, and Miles finished packing up the lingering pieces.
“He is,” Julian noted with a solemn nod. “He’s incredibly stubborn too. Hard to move.”
“Are you going to tell him?” I asked, tugging at the necromancer’s hand. The man had lost the severe expression from earlier, and now only watched the scene with mild curiosity. “Do you want me to tell him?”
“Just wait a minute,” Julian said smoothly. “Let him work out some of that aggression, then we’ll let him know. He needs to clean up his mess anyway.”
I glanced at Miles, who at that moment was slowly and carefully packing away his little herb packets. Gone was theaggressionof his earlier demeanor; now, despite his stiff movements, he seemed a bit more at peace.
“It’ll be good for him too,” Julian was saying. “He might not show it, but he really could use your help right now. We really can’t separate until thethingis taken care of anyway.”
Thething. What a lovely way to describe my codependency; oh, the shame.
Titus straightened from his task, bag already swung over his shoulder, and gave the two of us the most peculiar look.
Julian didn’t seem to notice. He turned me to face him, guiding my chin up until my face was turned toward him. “You don’t think you can leave him?”
I shook my head, feeling pathetic enough at admitting it. But trying to ignore this feeling would only make it worse. Today had been mentally exhausting, and it hardly looked to be past noon.
AndI hadn’t even eaten nor had my coffee yet.
“Then he stays with us,” Julian decided with a nod. “There’s more than one way for this to happen. He just needs to be willing to do what it takes.”
“Do what it takes?” I asked, grabbing a lock of my hair and twisting it around my finger.
“He’s scared,” Julian explained, pulling at my hand and holding it still in his grasp. “He’s afraid to overwhelm you. He relied on you a lot when we helped Lily, much more than I think you realize. But…” He paused, looking away as he seemed to search for the right words. “This whole thing is most likely a stupid self-imposed mission to prove himself, even though there’s a much easier way.”
“He doesn’t need to find Bigfoot to graduate?” I asked. So there was hope for him?
“No.” Julian sighed. “I mean,yes. He needs an ingredient from a mythological creature to use in a potion. It is what will momentarily give his abilities a boost so he can complete his shadow work. But really, he’s being ridiculous.”
“What do you mean?”
Julian shrugged, as if the answer was obvious. “You’re his controller, an empath,andthe Wood Xing. You’re his lucky charm. If you’re bonded with him and you fully trust each other, you’d be able to help him. He might not even need to cast the spell at all.”
“I can do that?” I asked, surprised.
“A fae directs a witch’s magic through force or collaboration,” Julian explained. “For the bonding to work, you’d have to work together. Your purpose is to stop him from losing focus.” His gaze narrowed and voice lowered. “That also meansyouhave to be confident too. Miles feeds on your emotions, and you on his.”
Trust? My heart was racing at the implications. I trusted Miles; it was myself that was the issue. But I didn’t understand. Miles once said he believed I could control him. What had changed? “He doesn’t think I can do it?”
“He’s worried he might need to rely on you too much,” Julian corrected. “That’s why he’s determined to do it himself, to prove that he can handle it. If he gets stronger on his own, you can still bond later and he won’t need to put as much pressure on you.”
