Page 157 of Balance
With Julian, I had felt his emotions, and I was ready. So why was the only feeling Miles’s weight against my shoulder?
But then, as he pulled me closer to him, trapping our tied wrists more tightly between us as he wrapped his other arm around my back, I could feel it.
A slow, languid sort of exhaustion—starting from the bottom of my feet and crawling through the rest of my body—came over me; followed closely by relief.
“What’s this?” I couldn’t help but ask.
“I’m sharing your burden,” he said, fingers moving in a circle over my back. “That’s our relationship—you help me, and I ground you.”
But what did that mean? “What’s grounding?”
He straightened at my question. “If you’re feeling overwhelmed or in pain, I’m there to help you.”
But… “Isn’t that what Julian does?” I asked. “Like how he can control my emotions?”
“Remember, I told you: he doesn’t control your emotions,” Miles clarified, moving his hand to cover the knot holding us together. “He only influences them. No one has any say over your emotions but you. But no, this is different.”
He was wrong—the boys had a major influence on my feelings. There was no other explanation for my reactions just from being around him.
“When we’re touching, I canfeelyour physical responses,” he explained. “And, if necessary, take on them as my own.”
“What?” Now it was me who pressed back, though I didn’t get very far.
“You’re more in tune with my emotions now too,” Miles continued, tugging at the ties. “Haven’t you noticed?”
And that was the only reason why I wasn’t punching him in the face. “You’re nervous,” I pointed out. But I wasn’t exactly feeling it—not in the same way I did with Julian. It was just easier to read his body language now. “I’m tired, is that you?”
As his eyes moved to mine and he unwrapped our binding, the nervous energy grew stronger. “You’re anxious.” His brows drew together, and mouth thinned. “Even more than I’ve realized. I’m trying to shoulder that from you, at least a little. So, of course you’d be tired. I’m not nervous. I just need to get used to it.”
It was one thing for Julian to control my bodily reactions, but Miles’s version ofinfluencingthem included him taking on pain himself. That was something entirely different.
Especially since Miles had been in such a fragile state. “Are you sure you can—”
He pressed a finger to my lip, shushing me. “I’ve dealt with my shadow work, thanks to you. Now it’s your turn to trust me in return.”
A feather-light touch brushed across my cheek. My bed was warm and pliant, the light scent of freshly turned dirt stimulated my senses.
But despite the comfortable surroundings, my stomach was already twisting while my heart raced. Considering the environment—as it was clear we were outside—the worst possible situation might be at hand.
There was a bug crawling on my face.
Disgusting.
It moved again, crawling over my cheek, and my eyes flew open and I rolled to my side, swiping at my face. But there was nothing, thankfully, as the only things falling from my bed were crushed leaves and twigs.
I blearily blinked at them, trying to string together the events of the past few hours.
Our bonding ceremony had left me exhausted, and Miles too, considering he’d also gone through a rather traumatic ritual beforehand. We’d fallen asleep in front of our rekindled fire, curled together on a leaf pile.
It was a miracle a bughadn’tbeen crawling over me.
A low, unfamiliar chuckle broke through my inner tirade, and my hand paused at the back of my neck, where I’d begun pulling twigs out of my braid. For a moment, I was five years old again. I was alone in an unfamiliar forest, and unexplainably exhausted.
But then I turned, spotting Miles, who was sitting crossed legged not five feet away from my head. His mouth quirked apologetically—almost shyly—and he wiped his hand over his thigh.
My fears vanished and my vision cleared.
“You had a spider on you.” He grinned. “But I saved you.”
