Page 19 of Balance

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I wasn’t sure if anyone else would have done that, not without mention of my behavior.

“Is that so?” I offered; my voice weaker than expected.

He glanced at me, eyebrow quirking, but didn’t remark on it. “Outside of us, there are the rulers of the fae—the king and queen of the Unseelie and Seelie courts. They never ever leave the realm, and, unless killed by an outside force, they are immortal.”

This sounded familiar—didn’t Damen also have four overseers in hell?

“Why are they—” I began, but Xavier beat me to it.

“You’ve given them their immortality,” Xavier explained, glancing sideways at me. “You’re the only person they answer to, and the only one who has a chance of stopping the Unseelie King from further hurting your people.”

My people…

My heart was racing, a strange sense of possessiveness washing over me.

But still… it wasn’t enough. I was nowhere near ready to confront aking, if that would ever happen.

“Why can’t you talk to him?” I asked, turning my attention to the tops of my shoes. “You’re one of my officers. Shouldn’t he listen to you?”

“Technically, yes,” Xavier said. “If we’re working on behalf of you, they are supposed to regard us in that way. And—forgive me—I’ve tried the route of assuming your authority, because I’ve wanted to prevent the need for you to go there directly. But it didn’t work. He isn’t paying attention. He’ll only listen to the Xing.”

“But I can’t come out as the Xing.” I chewed on the inside of my cheek. Everyone had been adamant that my existence in this role remain a secret to the council, which, I assumed meant that we’d try to keep our circles as tight as possible. Going to the Unseelie court and demanding audience with a king was the opposite of low-key. Besides, there was another problem. Something that I hadn’t had a chance to bring up with Bryce or Brayden yet…

“If I showed up and threw around my title, it might not work anyway,” I cautioned Xavier, who seemed to be hanging on to my every word. “Don’t the fae have issues with women?”

Xavier nodded, his lips turning down as contemplation masked his face. “It’s true. Even the queen is, or was, a figurehead. I’m not actually surehowthe courts will react to any of this, to be honest.”

I paused, looking up at him. I couldn’t believe I was asking this, but… “What doyouthink about me?”

“I told you already.” Xavier’s hair swayed in the breeze, and he seemed genuinely puzzled at my question. “Although your physical appearance is unexpected, I’m not bothered.”

“Why?” I asked.

“Because.” His gaze held mine, steadfast and confident. “Our people had no hope for so long, and I had no idea you even existed. I’m just glad you’rehere. Who cares that you’re a woman? Anything else doesn’t matter. But in regards to your earlier concern, I’m not asking you to announce to the world who you are.”

Then what did he want? Certainly not that… plan. “What do you expect me to do?”

He glanced around once before responding, his voice lowered. “I want you to come with me to the Unseelie court, undercover. You’ll be safest as one of my associates. Perhaps that can trigger a response from Mu—he’s extremely manipulative, and I’m sure you can figure out a way to make the king listen to youwithoutexposing your identity.”

My heartbeat echoed in my ears, and the air grew even colder. The manipulative bit had sounded almost like an insult, if not for the note of admiration in his voice.

He seemed certain, but how could he have that much faith in me? I couldn’t pull off something like that.

If things were as terrible as he was making it out to be, I wasn’t sure if I could do anything at all without collapsing in on myself.

Then I’d be even more useless.

“I’ve been studying Mu mywhole life.” Xavier glanced past me, his words an echo of Dr. Kohler’s statement. “I’m certain you can do this.”

“Xavier!” Anthony stepped beside me, not-so-discreetly angling himself between me and my Tongjun. “You were told to wait!”

Xavier straightened, the calm blanket falling back over his features. “You have no right to stop me from talking to her. Besides, I’m only here as a messenger. Do Yun asked me to talk to her.” He shot me a pointed look—asking me to play along. “He’s starting to get a complex because Bianca is here and won’t go visit him.”

Crap, I’d completely forgotten about Dr. Nam. I’d been doing such a good job at never having to see him, but was he seriously just waiting around for me to show up?

That was kind of sad.

He’d never been awful to me, and I hated hurting people’s feelings. If only he’d let me drink something other than that foul-tasting tea, I might just go.