Page 107 of Change
“You… knew I’d hate you?” Something about his words caused a pang to shoot through me. He pretended to be my friend though. There was some measure of trust there at least, so that didn’t make any sense.
How could you get close to someone if you knew your relationship was doomed to disaster?
“Yes,” he replied, lips thinning as the corner of his eyes crinkled.
“But you did it anyway?”
“I didn’t know what else to do.” Finn shrugged, his words quickening. “I never had any friends before, and I had no idea how to help you otherwise.” His shoulders slumped as his head fell forward. A lock of his light blonde hair fell over his eyes. “I’m sorry I did this the wrong way. I should have refused to lie. I never wanted to hurt you.”
The gentle breeze passed over us, and my breath caught as his apology rang through my head.
Ten years—and this was the first time I’d ever heard him utter those words.
‘I’m sorry.’
My hands shook as I squeezed my fingers into my blanket. “Last time we had this discussion, you refused to acknowledge you were wrong.”
And that’s what had hurt the most.
“What changed?” I asked.
Finn’s reply was instantaneous. “Damen.”
I blinked at him. I wasn’t sure how Damen had the ability to make anything better. “How?”
“He’s been treating you like you’re an idiot.” Finn’s tense expression morphed into a glower, and there was an edge to his voice that wasn’t there before. “Seeing it makes me feel like I’m looking into the past. I get what he’s trying to do, but he’s beginning to portray the worst traits of our kind. I didn’t realize I’d been doing the same thing.”
“What do you mean?”
“Jealousy,” Finn replied with a shrug. “Aggression, impulsive behavior, not being completely honest. When a Fire personality becomes obsessed, we’ll ignore the details in order to focus on the long-term goals. It was my job to keep you safe. That was all that was important, even if it meant you’d hate me. It took being an outsider to see it. You were more than happy to listen to me, to trust everything I told you, and I took advantage of that. I didn’t question it because it meant that my job was easier. I’ve been an asshole.”
“Yeah,” I agreed. Was this what it took for him to see the light? “You have been.”
“You could at least deny it a little,” he muttered, pushing his fists into his thighs.
“It’s okay.” Despite the awkward situation, I couldn’t help but to elbow him on the side. It wasn’t until after that I realized I hadn’t initiated contact between us in a very long time. The air grew heavy as Finn tensed, and the atmosphere begged to be lightened. I leaned in, whispering, “I can be one too.”
“Oh?” He raised his eyebrow, finally turning to me. His voice was softer now as he responded. “I already knew that. You’re a little bit terrifying sometimes.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. He could at least look surprised at my admission.
“I guess that’s why we’re best friends.” Finn’s mouth curled up ever so slightly and my heart skipped a beat. “We’re two peas in a pod.”
Suddenly, I couldn’t breathe; and this time it had nothing to do with Damen’s outburst. Finn’s tone had been slight—joking—but the stressed line of his shoulders gave away his nervous tension.
Because the fact of the matter was also that in the entire duration of our relationship, he’d never once called me hisbest friendtoo.
And how presumptuous was this? I wasn’t his friend anymore. Wasn’t I still angry at him?
But for what—and why? It really didn’t matter anymore. Not in the grand scheme of things.
And he’d apologized and owned up to his mistakes. How could we move past this if I didn’t give him another chance?
That was what a leader did—we didn’t allow conflicts to linger.
“Yeah…” My attention moved back to the sky, and I pressed my cheek against my knees once more. “I guess we are.”
“Good.” He let out an audible sigh and as the tension left his body. Then he shifted slightly, reaching beside him as he pulled a bag onto his legs. “I guess I can give you this now then.”
