Page 190 of Change
“There’s always the possibility that I’m going to get hurt,” Titus interrupted my thoughts. He was watching me, stone-faced as he lowered the empty glass back to the table. “It’s myjobto protect you four—and especially you. I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure that you’re safe. Even if it means that I have to put myself in harm’s way.”
My knee bounced, and the world faded as only the two of us remained.
I didn’t like that. I didn’t like that at all.
“You are not to do something like that ever again,” he said, voice steadily commanding.
But…
I stared at him in silence, my blood turning to ice. I didn’t want to argue, but I couldn’t promise that. What about the others? I couldn’t just let something happen if I had the means to prevent it.
His face fell, and he leaned forward, elbows to the table. He ran his fingers through his hair. The motion pulled some of the tightly tied curls loose, and his hair fell across his eyes, his expression defeated.
“At least promise me this then.” His voice was almost a plea. “Try to be careful, and don’teversacrifice yourself for me.” He reached across the table and held his hand out, waiting for me to return the gesture. His larger, strong fingers closed around my knuckles, and he pulled them toward his mouth. I could only watch, butterflies fluttering in my stomach, as he kissed the tops of my fingers and held on to them. “I wouldn’t be able to handle it.”
Something about his admission pulled at my heart, and I leaned forward, trying to catch his eye. “Titus…”
But then our tuxedo-clad waiter appeared, and Titus reluctantly dropped my hands and leaned back. It wasn’t until he asked for our order that I realized I hadn’t even perused the menu at all, and my throat closed in a panic.
“Um…” I hurriedly read through the elegant script. “C-chicken?”
The dark-haired man lowered his notepad slightly, before replying, “Ma’am, we don’t have chicken.”
I gaped at him. No chicken? What kind of establishment did not have chicken?
And ‘ma’am’? I was not that old.
“Our specials are Pear and Pomegranate Lamb Tagine, Filet Mignon, Herring…” he continued, but I already knew that herring was off the table.
They were too much like sardines for my liking, and everyone knew sardines were of the devil.
“L-lamb is fine,” I stuttered, and another wave of embarrassment washed over me. Since returning, I might have been fine with speaking to the others in my direct circle, but there was still a lingering fear of anyone else. It seemed like, no matter how hard I tried to ignore it, it wouldn’t just go away.
“You don’t need to ignore it.” Titus waited until the waiter left before he pushed his foot against mine, much like he had during our last date. “And it’s not something that is just going to go away. You’ll talk to Du Yun about it, right?”
My face grew hot. “Maybe.”
“You’ll get there,” Titus said, nodding in understanding. “Du Yun is eccentric, but very good at what he does. Just trust him.”
I agreed, though I wasn’t entirely certain of this process at all.
But our conversation was cut short as the fancy breads arrived, as did the appetizer, and soon our focus was entirely on the meal.
That was, until dessert was finally finished and we were left to linger, sipping at our coffee. Titus had grown silent again during the meal, and the nervous line of tension was back on his shoulders.
“Can we go out there?” I asked, glancing toward the balcony. Maybe he only needed some fresh air.
He didn’t respond with words but got up and pulled out my chair for me. Then, as I stood, he moved ahead to open the doors.
Oh.
Well then, I guess that answered that question.
I left my jacket behind—we shouldn’t be out here very long. He’d shoved his hands in his pockets, uncharacteristically brooding as he watched me move to the railing, but still leaving me with enough space to be alone with my thoughts.
Well, in a manner of speaking.
“We can work on it,” Titus said, finally coming to me. He wrapped his arms around me from behind and pulled me against him as he shielded me from the cool breeze. Not that it was excessively cold here—there was something different in the way the air felt and tasted from the world I was used to—but it was still rather nice, regardless.
