Page 46 of Change
“Bianca…” I wasn’t sure what to say. Did she really think that was a secret?
“I’m fine with hugging, and snuggling, and even sleeping in the same bed,” she rambled, her shoulders shifting as she moved her hands out of my sight. “Sometimes even kissing,” she added, eyes flickering in my direction as her cheeks darkened. “Maybe. Light touching…”
This wasn’t where I was going with this. “Bianca—”
“But we can never, ever, ever, ever have sex.” Her shaking stopped and her jaw locked. “Ever. I don’t want anything near there.”
“Bianca,” I sighed, pressing my foot down lightly on her toes—it was the only way to get her attention, since she was adamantly avoiding my gaze. “You’re thinking too hard about this. You need to stop planning.”
I couldn’t help but laugh internally at the irony, since I’d been planning my every move since I’d first seen her.
“You’re never going to be able to relax enough to enjoy the moment if you’re worried about what might happen,” I added.
She pursed her lips. “That doesn’t sound very dragon-like. In fact, that sounds like something Damen would say.”
Because it was, it was something he told me all the time. He wasn’talwayswrong.
And sometimes the unexpected events were the ones that changed the course of war.
“Do you like it when I do this?” I asked, rubbing the top of my foot up the back of her calf.
Bianca sucked in a breath; eyes wide as she stared up at me.
“Well?” I asked, even though the answer was obvious from her scent.
“Yes!” she squeaked.
“What about this?” I leaned forward, tucking a looselock of herhair behind her ear. I’dbeen wanting to do this since we’d sat down but resisted—so I couldn’t help but to take a moment to linger, running my fingertips along the shell of her ear before I leaned back into my seat.
“It’s fine!” Her face was on fire now. “Are you sure you’re a virgin?”
I shrugged—this was only the tip of the iceberg. I’d taken Julian’s comments about my lack of knowledge quite personally.
How dare they underestimate my determination. “I read.”
“The others think you’re innocent,” she said quickly. “But you keep flirting with me when they’re not looking.”
“And sometimes when they are,” I added. “Although.” I leaned forward, cupping the side of my mouth. Bianca’s eyebrows raised in question, and the doubtful expression fell from her face as she moved closer. “Now it’s my turn to tell you a secret.”
Her eyes widened.
“I’ve neverbeen witha girl before,” I said, my voice low. “Ever.”
I wasn’t sure what reaction I expected, but it certainly wasn’t her lowering her chin and whispering back, “That’s not really a secret.”
Well, not really. It was just as much of a secret as hers. But—
“I’m going to mess up. I don’t know how to be a mate, and there are still things about humans I don’t understand.” I hated to admit it out loud, every sentence was an admission of where I couldn’t compare. “The five of us… We’re sheltered from a young age. Usually we only have each other, our families, and our officers for company until we go to school. On top of that, Pierson was really strict—”
She tilted her head. “Pierson?”
“My father.” I waved my hand in the air. “Don’t get me wrong, he’s fine. But he’s a lion, territorial, and doesn’t understand dragons. He was also not around. My mother disappeared when I was young. But she was still alive, he could feelher presence, but he never figured out where she went. He never got any closer to finding her before she,suddenly,died.”
I pressed my hands into my lap, trying to fight back the cold numbness at the memory of her voice. “There’s nothing worse than a mate who leaves you, especially if you don’t know why.”
Though, that wasn’t entirely true.
We all knew why she’d left—although my father never told me to my face.
She was warm, kind, and loving—a gazelle. They had the perfect relationship, and why wouldn’t they? A predator and prey pairing was something rare and sacred.
But she wastoogentle and couldn’t handle the stress of having a dragon as a child.
I didn’t blame her at all.
“I’m sorry.” Bianca touched the tip of her finger to my hand. “What was her name?”
I opened my mouth, the response on the tip of my tongue, when the waitress returned, carrying our food. “Later,” I mouthed.
But as the evening continued and we eventually left for home, later never came and the subject was forgotten.
