Page 93 of Shadows of Nightshade
“It doesn’t matter,” I said.
I could feel Finn’s disapproval as he glared daggers between my shoulder blades. But it was true; it really didn’t matter what happened to me. Sure, I’d rather not be targeted—after all, being killed by a spirit would be vexing. But…
It’s not her job to protect us.
There was a swelling growing through me, a warmth that began from my feet and expanded to the tip of my nose. I movedon instinct and reached for her. She was a good person, a good soul, and I couldn’t abandon her.
“Don’t worry about me.” The words seemed to slip from my lips. “Let me help you move on,” even though I had no idea how.
Rosalie looked past me, shivering, as the four corners of the room grew darker. Long, thin tendrils of shadow reached towards us, kept at bay by the flickering light burning in Finn’s hands. A sinister presence tried to break through our safe circle.
I didn’t even know how she died, or her story, but that didn’t matter. I only knew that if I let her go now, she might be swallowed by the darkness.
Everything else could come later.
“Please,” I said.
She hesitated as a concentrated sense of helplessness was making it harder to breathe. My short-term confidence faded. I was beyond unprepared—I hadn’t even planned on any of this; of course, I had no idea what to do—and had next to no knowledge about what I might be able to offer.
How did a ghost move on? I’d never felt more useless.
Believe in yourself, don’t let outside influences affect your abilities.
It was then that Finn stepped closer, and his soft light highlighted something in Rosalie’s stricken expression that I’d missed before—fear.
Comprehension thrummed in my blood. Rosalie’s fear. That’s what was causing my throat to close and my heart to race. These weren’t my emotions.
“Let it go,” he said, addressing Rosalie.
I was unsure of what he meant, but Rosalie apparently understood. She touched her chin and looked between us. “But…”
“You don’t need to protect her anymore,” Finn continued. “I can handle the aftermath. But she can’t help you if you’re afraid.”
Rosalie chewed her bottom lip before she spoke. “You are anEr Bashou,” she said, and a faint flicker of hope lit her features. “It will be okay…”
I had no idea what that meant, but she was right that Finn was supposed to be very important. Then again, she’d mentioned having a shikigami, so obviously, she was an onmyoji too. I wasn’t privy to the intricate workings of the onmyoji. Perhaps they had a sixth sense about each other.
She looked back at me. “You’ll stay with him?”
“Sure,” I said, nodding, slightly miffed she’d believe I required his assistance. “He’s here to help you too.”
And I dared him to say otherwise.
To be honest, I wasn’t sure how Finn might respond. Our dynamics were different now. We’d never worked with spirits in the past—only degenerates and misunderstood peers—but I had to believe he’d do the right thing.
He cared about others more than he liked to admit.
“Listen to Bianca.” Finn’s reply was blunt. He might look and sound nonchalant, but I knew, from our history together, that the way he remained unable to hold eye contact, meant that he was invested.
Why would he feel guilty? It was clear he did; it was plainly written on his face. Was it because he’d ignored my concerns, or was there something more?
“And don’t worry, keeping her safe is my responsibility,” he told her.
My breath caught—he’d said something similar, with Julian, and it hurt.
I didn’t understand why those words caused the back of my eyes to prickle. I wasn’t a burden, although, yes, I’d done some burdensome things.
I didn’t want to inconvenience anyone.
