Page 105 of Shadows of Nightshade
However, what was frustrating was that, even though I was only a few feet away from the conversation, a door separated us. Without visual cues or context, I could not make out a single word.
But I wouldn’t have been able to focus on their words. It was hard to think. I wanted to be angry. My life had changed so quickly.
It was too much. I just wanted to be left alone.
And I was scared.
I pushed my back to the door and pulled my knees against my chest as I squeezed my eyes shut. My head hurt, a pain that was growing more pronounced with every shaking inhale. I didn’t know anything about the fae or this world. But I did know that Damen and the others were important, which, apparently, made me important too. But they’d be disappointed.
They’d hate me.
My temples throbbed. I wasn’t ready.
I curled my toes over the cold tile. There was a growing restlessness humming through my body. Panic, fear. The emotions roared through my thoughts, screaming when, externally, I couldn’t utter a single sound. Something loud was crashing around me, growing louder and louder.
But I couldn’t move.
“Bianca!” The door was ripped open as my sanctuary was invaded, and I turned to face the one who’d interrupted my solitude.
Our eyes briefly met—a fierce emerald speckled with crimson—before the looming, giant man came forward. I couldn’t escape before Titus snatched me to him with a surprising gentleness, and I was instantly cloaked in his embrace.
I wasn’t afraid. I wasn’t scared. I couldn’t even focus on the retreating chaos that’d taken over my thoughts.
What was wrong with me?
“Stop,” he said, and even though it was very strange, with that order, my senses dropped into abrupt nothingness.
“It’s okay now,” he continued. A blank calm surrounded me, chasing away the turmoil, and he stepped back into the bedroom. I remained stunned.
However, even though my internal world had been struck numb, my outside environment was anything but quiet.
We’d moved back to the bed, and I could finally see the aftermath left behind. The bathroom door had been ripped from the hinges, but what drew my focus was the shattered glassware and ripped linens scattered into ruins between both spaces. The damage was centered exactly where I’d been sitting.
What happened?
“Are you feeling better?” Julian asked as he touched my forehead. Somehow, without understanding the mechanics, I knew that the mess was my fault.
“Sorry… it…” I looked to Damen, who was surveying the scene alongside Miles. “It was an accident.”
Damen turned to me, ignoring his broken things, and lifted a brow.
“I know that.” He sounded as though I’d said something obvious. Then he crossed the empty space between us, expression straight and serious. “Why are you afraid?”
I pulled back at the question.
“It’s expected that you might be surprised, and maybe even angry. This is life-changing news, after all,” Damen explained. “But this is an unexpected reaction. Why are you afraid?”
“I…” Now that my thoughts had quieted, and the air was no longer screaming in my ears, I couldn’t remember. The helpless feeling that’d surrounded me had been shoved into the recesses of my memories. “I don’t know.”
Damen frowned. “Then what’s wrong?”
Admitting this was a vulnerability, but I was also too self-conscious to pretend it didn’t matter.
“We’re friends, right?” I asked, trying to ignore the way Titus’s breath hitched at my question. Did that mean he felt guilty? “Would we still be friends even if… we didn’t share this?”
Did that make any sense?
Damen’s shoulders slumped, and my heart sank. I’d disappointed him. “Bianca, do you think we only like you because you’re Mu?”
