Page 59 of Shadows of Nightshade
“—Bryce,” he said.
I reeled back, heart leaping into my throat, as the name of my archnemesis poisoned the air around us. “Bryce?”
His shock faded as he leaned back, stunned at my reaction. I knew the others were just as perturbed, but what could I do?
I hadn’t had time to prepare, to brace myself. This was the most natural response possible.
“Bryce Dubois,” Damen repeated. “You know him?”
Did I know him? What a silly question—wasn’t it clear from my reaction?
I nodded, pushing my fists against my chest. Violence was my most immediate desire when it came to that man. “He’s teaching Professor Hamway’s class.”
“Oh, yeah.” Damen looked away. “I’d forgotten he was actually doing something this year.” His snarky tone soothed my rattled emotions, and my attention perked.
Could it be—did Damen not like Bryce either?
“In any case”—Damen shrugged—“he’s fae too. In fact, he’s the highest-ranking officer outside of the Xing. He’s probably the best person to go to with any questions you might have.”
That wouldn’t be happening.
“No, that’s okay.” I shook my head—my thirst for knowledge vanished. “I’d rather not.”
This had been the worst day. This most recent news was almost as painful as the deep betrayals that I’d suffered through. It made me feel sick to learn that Bryce might have anything to do with my salvation. But I would be brave.
“Are you crying?” Julian was suddenly sitting beside us. “Did he do anything to you?”
“No.” I shook my head. Why was my chest so tight that I could scarcely breathe? How could I explain that this was just another example of my terrible luck? Finn, my parents, knowledge of my ignorance…
And now Bryce—the last person in the world that I could be prevailed upon to trust.
I didn’t like any of this.
“Everything is wrong.” I sniffled.
“It will be okay,” Damen said. “You’re with us now.”
His words reassured a part of me that I’d forgotten even existed, but with that emotion, brought a wave of apprehension.
They were popular and strong. Should I end this friendship? After what happened in the past, every unsuccessful attempt, I didn’t think I could handle being hurt again.
While it was true that being alone terrified me, the kind of hurt that came after trust was even worse.
But there were good people out there too. I had to believe that.
Yet something in me begged me to trust in this connection despite logic warning me otherwise. This wasn’t normal—not for me—and I didn’t want to give up this feeling. Maybe it was selfish, or maybe this was all supposed to have happened, but with them near me, my anxieties melted away. The fears and feelings that clouded my mind had lifted. It felt almost like I’d regained a lost part of myself.
Even with Finn, it had never felt so right.
Opening myself was so easy and so intimidating, but I couldn’t hold it back anymore. I gripped Damen’s shirt again, and with that, the dam burst.
“Please don’t hurt me.” I felt pitiful—it was difficult to beg. But without them, I was truly alone.
Damen held me so tightly I could scarcely breathe. But I didn’t care. I savored the comfort and security he provided while I broke down completely.
I wasn’t sure how much time passed, but the entire time, he whispered things I couldn’t hear, and those that I could were promises and reassurances that made no sense. He never stopped holding me as he ran his hands through my hair and over my back. The fact that he’d even do such a thing made me cry even harder.
I was a mess. Yet this cathartic release made me feel stronger. I was no longer alone.
