Page 82 of Shadows of Nightshade
“That’s not what I’m talking about,” he was frowning at me, displeased. “And you know it.”
I shrugged. He could be talking about many things. I couldn’t assume—
“Do you have trouble hearing?” he asked.
“N—” I gritted my teeth, ready to lie even though it pained me. But his patient, assured focus made it impossible. He already knew.
“Yes,” I grumbled, looking away. “But it’s fine.”
“Bianca—” he began, and I gently slapped my hand over his mouth. He wasn’t even trying to disguise his sympathy.
“It’s fine,” I said again, trying to sound as blasé as possible. “I learned to manage. Usually, no one can even tell. You never noticed, right?”
I glared at him.
Julian’s gaze turned wary, and he took my wrist, releasing his mouth. “We are more observant than most. Who else is aware of this?” he asked, not answering my question. “Your parents, your doctor?” he paused briefly before adding, “Does Finn know?”
“Yes,” I answered.
He wasn’t getting the hint. Did he not find me menacing? It was a bit of a blow to my ego; I’d made Finn turn pale on more than one occasion.
“And what was the diagnosis?” Julian was determined to get answers. “Are you getting any treatment?”
“What’s there to treat?” I shrugged. “It’s nothing that can be fixed. Are you this determined to cure Damen’s eyes too?” Maybe he should be, if only so Damen would stop hitting on me. The man was blind. It was the only way to explain his painful obliviousness to body language.
“Well, no,” Julian said slowly. “But that’s different—”
“No!” I waved my hand. “It’s the same.”
“He has glasses,” Julian deadpanned. “And he doesn’t even need to wear them all the time.”
I opened my mouth. What was that supposed to mean?
“But I understand.” Julian placed his finger to my lips, interrupting my retort before I could even begin. “You don’t want to talk about it yet, and I can respect that.” My annoyance began to ebb away with every word, until he added, “To an extent.”
My blood went cold at his stone-faced expression, and he lowered his hand back to his side.
Would he… rescind our friendship over this? Could this be such a big deal to people?
Yes. I knew it as sure as I breathed. It could.
“Can you always hear me?” he asked. “How much do you miss?”
I was an inconvenience. He’d never said it wasn’t bothering him.
“I-I don’t know,” I answered. I’d just learned to live with it. “I guess… if I’m not paying attention or aren’t looking at your face, it’s harder. Then, I have to figure out what you’re saying based on context.”
“Are there things you don’t hear?” he continued.
“I-I don’t know?” I said again. How was I supposed to answer? I didn’t know what I didn’t know. “I’m sorry.”
“Why are you sorry?” he asked. “I just want to make sure you’re comfortable.”
“What?” I wasn’t sure what he meant. “Why does it matter?”
Julian raised his eyebrow. “Because I want to be able to communicate with you?”
That didn’t make any sense. “You don’t want me to leave?”
