Page 129 of Ashes and Lilies
The survivors began to scramble for the door in their haste to escape, stumbling over the forms of their fallen comrades. But my mind pulled back from them, and instead, I focused on the dagger.
The weapon had fallen a short distance from my knees and was coated with the evidence of my actions. The last few momentsreplayed in my head, but it still didn’t make sense. There was no way I would hurt people.
I didn’t want to fight. I didn’t.
I latched on to the thought as I huddled inward, trying to block the sight of the room. But pressing my face to my knees only drew my attention to the floor—then to my hands.
They were stained with blood. This was the first time I’d ever had to kill anyone.
The last of the magic fell as the door slammed open.
They were here, and I was safe. But it didn’t matter. Nothing could change what’d happened. I didn’t even glance up at their arrival; I couldn’t look away from the evidence.
A warm body crashed into mine as someone grabbed me, turning me until I could see my surroundings again.
A furious, white dragon—Titus—descended on the remaining men who’d attempted to flee, ripping at their faces. Then Damen appeared after Titus, sword brandished as he ran the blade through a witch’s neck.
My thoughts drifted as my strength faded.
“Bianca…” Miles’s arms trembled around me.
However, my skin was buzzing as my head spun, and I couldn’t muster the energy to respond.
“What’s wrong with her?” he asked, looking at Julian. “Why isn’t she answering?”
“She’s been injured,” Julian replied. “I’m not even sure how much blood is hers.” His face was blurry, and I winced when he touched me. His attention strayed to my neck.
“She was shot in the shoulder, too.” Finn had woken up and was sitting on his knees. “She was trying to protect me,” he added, and Julian scowled.
I began to tremble. Was the room always this cold?
Julian’s expression darkened, and he looked up. “Damen,forget about them.” His tone was calm despite the situation. “Find something to stop this bleeding.”
Hands pulled at me, repositioning me until my injured side was away from Miles, and my head was pillowed in the space between the witch’s arm and chest.
Julian was kneeling in front of me, his expression blank. I wanted to speak to him but couldn’t think of anything to say. And when Damen stepped into view, holding a dish towel, Julian began to issue out a series of commands in an authoritative tone that compelled the others to obey.
My awareness was fading as a lulling peace pulled at my senses. But I was too afraid to let it take over.
“J-Julian…” I could only lift my fingers.
His guarded features dropped as his relieved gaze met mine. “Bianca.” Even the way he said my name made me feel better. “Don’t talk. You’re losing a lot of blood. It’s a miracle you’re still conscious.”
“What happened?” Damen asked, putting his phone away. His clothes were stained with red, and there were dark circles under his eyes.
I didn’t like seeing him so upset.
“I literally just told her not to talk!” Julian glared at him. “Her throat has been cut, and there’s a bullet lodged in her shoulder. You can be nosy later.”
Did it not bother them that I’d killed people? Although to be fair, Titus and Damen had dealt some gruesome damage to the others. So probably not.
Still, why did I feel guilty now when, before, I hadn’t been bothered?
At least Finn seemed to be okay. He was already up and moving around inspecting bodies, so somehow, he’d gotten free.
I tensed as something occurred to me. Something far moreimportant than anything I was suffering. I was so ashamed that I wanted to die.
The others exclaimed as I scrambled to my feet, I dodged their reach and stumbled across the room. Titus was ripping out someone’s intestines, and I felt terrible, yet thankful, that he was distracted.
