Page 34 of Ashes and Lilies
Why didn’t he realize that Damen would beat the crap out of him for coming near me? Maybe.
Actually, I wasn’t so sure about Damen.
Or even most of the others. Miles didn’t want me to kill him. Titus hadn’t said…
But Julian, he definitely would. Julian seemed to really hate him.
“I doubt it,” Finn responded. “There’s an emergency faculty meeting. We’re alone.”
And just how would he know about that?
“Bianca.” Finn frowned at me, and there was a hesitance to his tone as he said, “Before anything else, before they question me, I need to know what you want to tell the others. Are you going to hide it or—”
“Hide what?” I snapped. What was he going on about now?
He sighed, lowering his arm as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “The other Xing are not stupid. They have to wonder,” he said.
“About?” I asked.
“I know the program has been deactivated and the phone disconnected.” Finn glanced at me. “Titus has to know what it does. Are you trying to tell me thatno onehas asked you about my motives?”
The ground fell from under my feet as I stared at him. Because it was true, they had asked, and since I wasn’t certain exactly why Finn had done what he had, it’d been easy to brush the question aside. However, upon reflection, I certainly suspected.
“What are your motives?” I asked. The words escaped in a breath past my numb lips. He was bluffing.
“I think you know.” He frowned. “Especially after Adrian.” When I didn’t answer, he continued, chin lowering. “You can’t possibly believe that I don’t know.”
“I’m leaving,” I told him as my face heated. I tried to sidestep him, but Finn grabbed my hands.
“You need to talk to me!” he said, holding my fists against the wall beside my head. The phone dropped from my grip and clattered to the floor.
My throat closed as panic began to spread under my skin. I was helpless as I stared at the man who’d been my only friend for a decade.
“Bianca.” Finn sighed, his expression morphed from frustration into something sad. “I’m not going to hurt you. I would never…” He paused, his vision landing on my exposed forearm. Regret settled into his expression. “Well, I would never intentionally hurt you. I’m sorry about the other day. I lost my temper.”
His words trailed off. And I, still unable to speak, continued to watch him.
“Please don’t look at me like that.” He sounded pained. “I only need to talk to you. I deserve that much.”
My fear faded at his words, and reckless fury rushed through me once again.
Had he honestly believed I’d show up to our nightly meetings at the coffee shop? How dare he play the victim. I didn’t want anything to do with him.
His betrayal had had me locked in an asylum.
“You lied to me.” I felt so useless. It was impossible for me to smack him. And right now, I wanted to pulverize his face. If only I had laser vision.
“I want to turn you into a stone and throw you from a cliff,” I told him. He did deserve to know his fate, at least. “Then I’d grind that stone into a powder. Afterward, I’d take the dust and scatter it into a small pool of water in the desert. And when the water evaporated from the heat, I would have an elephant go and urinate into that hole.”
“That’s…” Finn raised his eyebrow, and his mouth dipped. “That’s weirdly specific.”
“I’ve had a lot of things to work through, no thanks to you.” I glowered. “My own emotions, first of all. But now I also need to get used to dealing with feelings that aren’t even mine.”
His eyebrow dropped, and his lips thinned. “Just how long have you been off your medication?”
“You’re not going to try to deny it?” I couldn’t believe his nerve. “Since you’re being so honest, where’s your annoying sidekick?” I asked, still disappointed that it hadn’t made an appearance before now. “The glowing one.”
“My shikigami?” he asked, tilting his head. “First of all, it isn’t a sidekick—it’s a kami. But it doesn’t matter. Why do you care where it is?”
