Page 38 of Reflections of Peonies
Plus, there was that other matter. He was a man. I expected him to be upset once he’d had time to reflect on it.
I turned from them, and before Julian could protest, I slipped into the back and curled into a ball across the seats. Damen andJulian both peeked their heads through their doors, but I didn’t want to see them. Not if they were fighting.
I pulled the hood over my face. “I’m going to take a nap.”
There was a moment of silence, then both doors closed. A second later, the vehicle began to move.
No one put any music on today, and the quiet remained for what felt like an eternity. My eyes were heavy, and I was on the edge of losing consciousness when they spoke.
“What’s your problem tonight?” Julian’s voice was almost indiscernible, but I saw the shadow of their profiles when I peeked through a crack in my shield. So, while their voices were muffled, I could vaguely discern their words.
“I keep messing up,” Damen said. “It’s worse than I expected. I don’t even know where to start. Should we bring in Gregory? This is much different than working with a victim in the field or in an office.”
“It’s obviously up to you,” Julian answered. “But until we figure everything out, we need to be careful.”
“Speaking of, there’s a difference between being careful and what you’re doing,” Damen argued. “You need to stop being so overbearing.”
“And I toldyouthat you need to control your temper,” Julian rebutted. “It doesn’t do any good for her to see you acting like you’re angry with the world.”
“Iamangry!” Damen growled. The car slowed as we pulled down a bumpy road, and a moment later, the movements stopped.
I’d been holding my breath throughout the conversation, and as their words became more heated, I pressed my hands over my mouth.
My stomach turned as my mind screamed in warning. What were they talking about?
“Bianca?” Julian glanced back. It was brighter here, and hemust have noticed my movements. “Darling, did you just wake up?”
I hadn’t been asleep but didn’t want to correct him. “Why is Damen angry? Did I do something?”
“No,” Damen replied, tone tight. I sat up and noticed that we were in front of his house. The extra light was from the too-bright open bulbs on the patio, but I was far too preoccupied to be happy at the sight.
Damen rolled his shoulders, and his voice was more relaxed when he added, “It’s not you.”
“What would you have done?” Julian asked.
“Well—” I looked away. I knew I’d upset him more than he’d let on. Why else would he want to talk to his mentor? “When I freaked out when we were kissing… well, he was really mad,” I said.
Damen had also turned around in his seat. “Yes, but it wasn’t because of anything you did,” he said, and even though I could tell from his gaze that he was sincere, it still didn’t make sense.
“But—but what else would it be?” I asked. Damen blinked at me, and my chest felt tight when I added, “Is it because I used the word?” I touched my lips. My initial fears had been right after all. “That I asked you to stop?”
“That isn’t it at all,” Julian replied. “We would never be mad about that, and we will always stop.”
“But men can’t just stop!” I argued, pushing my fists against my knees. “It doesn’t work that way!”
They did not reply, and the outside light outlined their horrified faces. Their expressions compounded my panic. “What?” I asked.
I hadn’t said anything that wasn’t an already well-known fact.
“The reason you think that is because no one has ever respected your boundaries,” Damen said gruffly. “But whenyou’re with people who care about you, who respect you, they will not get angry at you for saying no.”
“I was one hundred percent sincere when I said you could use that word without repercussions,” Julian added.
“Then—” I began, hugging myself. “What’s wrong?”
“We should talk about this inside.” Damen was already reaching for his door.
“No,” I told him. “I’m not going inside until you tell me.”
