Page 65 of Reflections of Peonies
Julian moved and touched my arm. “How do you feel?”
I looked at my hands. Come to think of it, I was groggy. And somewhat stiff.
Julian patted my arm. “You’ve been asleep for almost a day.”
Julian helped me sit up while Miles stacked some pillows behind me, but my mind was too occupied to thank him. “What happened?”
“We took a risk in summoning Kiania, and there wasn’t enough medication in your system yet to negate the effects,” Damen said. “But don’t worry, it won’t happen again.”
He sat on the foot of my bed with his arms crossed. His expression was softer than I expected, considering the raw anger in his voice. But he seemed sure of his declaration.
“Damen?” I asked. Did he do something?
“Finn was right,” Julian murmured, tucking a lock of my hair behind my ear. “Kiania doesn’t want to kill you.”
“Not right now,” Damen cut in. “But there was that incident in one of our past lives. It’s probably connected.”
“Nobody knows the details,” Julian frowned.
“That’s not entirely true.” Damen’s gaze settled on me. “Haru does.”
Before Julian could respond, Titus returned. “Why don’t you just ask?”
Julian’s expression tightened. “I can’t.”
“Why not?” Miles asked, looking at me. “Bianca wants to help, right? She might not say no.”
I frowned. “Say no to what?”
Damen pointed at Julian and answered, “Shui can read memories, even those from our past lives. It might explain why Kiania is acting this way.”
“And I told you,” Julian said. “I won’t use my abilities on her.”
“You use your abilities on her constantly,” Damen pointed out. “For example, you help her with her anxiety.”
“That’s not the same!” Julian’s cheeks flushed. “You might not care about what I see, but Mu and I have a different understanding. I won’t break that trust unless absolutely necessary.”
I pulled my hands to my chest, fighting to steady my breath. “J-Julian,” I began, and he looked at me. “How does it work?” Maybe—
He said he could control it.
“If I dive into someone’s memories, they have to relive them. That being said, the thought patterns of someone who has trauma are entirely unpredictable, and even I cannot fully control what I see. And Bianca…” His words faltered slightly, but his resolve remained. “Well, she could be dragged back to that bastard’s hands, forced to reexperience everything. I won’t do it.”
Damen’s determined expression dropped, and he nodded. Titus and Miles both glared at the floor.
Throughout his explanation, I shrank back into the pillows, and my shoulders had grown so tight by the end that I might snap. “Y-yeah,” I said softly, biting my lip. “L-let’s not do t-that.”
Julian glanced down at me, and I continued, “What—whatare you trying to figure out, exactly?” Maybe talking about it could trigger something?
Damen sighed. “Kiania is one of three of my most often contracted-with shikigami. There’s also Kleonikh and Ming, but you’ve always considered Kiania the most approachable and, for some reason, a friend.”
I frowned. Why was he saying it like that? “I can’t be friends with a shikigami?” Not that I wanted to be her friend anymore, but that wasn’t the point.
“Shikigami are weapons, pure energy condensed into a form we can see,” Damen explained. “They’re not human or demon. Their appearances are just a way to communicate and attack. In their true state, they have no form.”
I touched my chin, pondering. “Are you sure? I’ve read stories where warriors believed their weapons were alive.”
Damen hesitated. “We might disagree on that, but the fact is, in one of your past lives, Kiania was with you when you died. We never learned what happened. Since then, Kiania’s never taken human form for anyone else.”
