Page 134 of Reflections of Peonies
“Bianca, can you look at me please?” I could still hear him. “I want to talk to you.”
“I don’t want to talk to you.” My racing heart was echoingwith force in my throat. I didn’t have to face anything. “I’m just going to stay up here forever.”
“You will—if you don’t snap out of it.” Julian’s tone changed slightly. There was something darker, more commanding in his voice that had never been present before. “You can’t run away for the rest of your life.”
“Watch me. You’re not even supposed to be here anyway,” I muttered, closing my eyes.
A scratching sound pulled at the edge of my senses, but I didn’t move. I was just so tired.
“I will not let you hide from me.”
Julian’s voice came from above me, and I screamed, jumping back from the wall. I landed ungracefully on my butt as I clutched at my chest, willing my heart to slow.
He had,somehow, scaled the building. And now he was crouched in the window, his head tilted as he studied me.
“Are you all right?” he asked.
“You scared me!” I breathed. “How in the world did you climb up here?”
He raised his eyebrow, briefly glancing behind him, down the tower, before he returned his attention to me. “I’m an assassin,” he said, as if that explained everything.
“That’s what you told me,” I replied. I didn’t believe it. “So that means you can clamber up walls like a ninja?”
His lips pressed in a line, and he remained silent, his eyebrow slowly rising as he watched me in that same unnerving way. And now that he was here, it was easier to tell.
Julian was in front of me, yet it wasn’t entirely him either. There was something dark in his gaze, something deep and ancient. Different than the Julian I’d come to know.
“Who are you?” I asked.
“Julian.” His voice moved over me, deep and melodic. “But, atthe moment, I’m also Shui. The veil that separates us is thinner in this state.”
“How can that—”
“Have you spoken with Mu? Being here would make it easier for him to connect to you.” He tilted his head. “You seem braver now.”
“I am not brave,” I protested, crossing my arms. I was still on the floor, my feet straight out in front of me, and the skirt of the green robes bunched around my knees.
“You are,” he said, a hint of the old Julian returning to his voice. “Before, you would never argue with me, but now you’re not afraid.”
“Why are you in my head?” I frowned at him. Did he think I would rush into his arms after he did the opposite of what he promised? “I know what you did. I am very angry at you. I am going to push you right out of that window.”
“You’re extremely violent when you’re not scared.” Julian stroked his chin, studying me. “Now, we need to redirect that energy to your real life. Do you remember why you ran away?”
What was he talking about?
“I—” I’d started to protest, but then recollection slammed into me, taking my breath away.
Aly.
All this time, I’d known my mother. From my earliest memories, she’d been there. She saved me.
Then she was devoured by a demon because I hadn’t been strong enough. She’d told me to never follow a bad spirit, but I hadn’t even noticed until it was too late.
I could never go back. I couldn’t face Bryce and Brayden. And there was no way I could meet my biological father now, even if I wanted to.
Julian’s presence washed over me as he pulled me into hisarms, and I blinked away the dots of darkness swarming in my vision.
“It’s not your fault,” he whispered in my ear. “No one is going to blame you.”
