Page 79 of Brambles and Bellflowers
He was never going to find anything Bigfoot-related here, though…
“You’ll go back with the others,” he said, the nervous expression falling as he gave me a soft smile. “I’ll miss you,mon rêve, and I’ll be back to you soon.”
His words hit me like a physical blow, returning my focus to the main issue—he was leaving me again.
“But—” I began, biting my lip. “Are you sure we can’t stay?”
Miles frowned. “I can’t afford the distraction,” he said. “Especially with Titus stomping around. And right now, I doubt that Titus would leave you, and I would be too focused on protecting you and making sure you’re safe in the wild and unable to complete my task. I have to do this alone,” he repeated.
“What if we just wait at the campsite?” I asked.
“No,” he replied. He hesitated before he reached between us and grabbed my hand. “This is hard for me, too,” he said. “I’ve always hated leaving you, but just give me a little longer, okay?”
My breath caught, and my throat closed.
“Bianca?” The soft finality in his expression dropped. “What’s…” His sentence trailed off when I pulled my hands away.
“It—it’s fine,” I said, trying to steady my shaking voice. I pushed to my feet and stepped back. “I understand.” And, really, I did.
Then why was it so hard to control the painful prickling behind my eyes? He had a mission to fulfill. Even though his fear of my adoptive father seemed widely exaggerated—the man would much rather slack around at his job and play role-playing games all day than be serious—who was I to interfere with his training?
I stepped back, vaguely aware that he’d said my name as he moved to his feet, and waved him off. “It’s okay,” I told him, unable to meet his eyes. “I need to go do something. I’ll be back.”
Even though I knew he was talking to me, I dodged his attempts to regain my attention and walked away.
I was sittingon a fallen log, my arms wrapped around my knees and staring at the ground, when I felt him. A gentle wave of concern washed over me through our new bond, and my heart skipped as Julian’s presence drew closer.
I wasn’t ready to go back yet. I didn’t want to say goodbye.
“Darling,” he said, crouching in front of me, close enough that I could feel the warmth radiating from him. “It’s okay to be upset. Being in a quintet is new to you, and it’s normal to feel a loss when one of us leaves. It disrupts the flow of energy between us. But I’ll be there to support—”
“I know that,” I said, unable to meet his eyes. “I read about how the connection works. That’s not my problem.”
“Then what is it?” he asked, touching my face to look at him. “Why are you anxious?”
“I don’t know!” I pulled from him. “It’s stupid!”
“It’s stupid, or you don’t know?” Julian asked, unable to mask his hurt.
My heart began to race. I did not need to feel defensive—he was trying to help—and I couldn’t get upset that he could feel my emotions. That would be hypocritical.
“I’m sorry…” I grabbed his arm. “It’s both, but I don’t know how to explain it.”
“Well,” Julian said contemplatively. “Let’s see if we can figure it out. Why are you upset at this moment?”
I couldn’t tell him, I couldn’t—
“It’ll only get worse if you try to suppress it,” he added, sitting beside me.
“I don’t want to be away from Miles.”
He blinked, lifting his eyebrow before carefully responding, “We thought seeing him might make you feel better, but—”
“It didn’t!” I pulled at my hair. My heart was racing, and it was getting harder to breathe. “I feel so stupid, but I don’t want him to go away again. I feel anxious—it scares me.”
Julian made a sound of understanding as he pulled at my hands, untangling them from my curls. “You’re experiencing separation anxiety.”
“I’m not a dog,” I protested.
