Page 80 of Brambles and Bellflowers
“No, you’re not,” he agreed, his voice gentle. “It’s a recognized condition in humans too. Especially in cases where someone has unresolved trauma and they make a connection to someone.”
He had to be wrong. “I wasn’t like this in the hospital.”
“A lot was going on,” he mused, stroking his chin, blue eyes distant. “And you haven’t had anything to do since then to distract yourself.”
I glanced at the water as he contemplated. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. This was the last thing we needed. I couldn’t expectthe others to put up with this. I’d have to suck it up—fake it—until I did some research and figured out the cure.
Julian snapped out of his musings, disbelief radiating as he rounded on me. “Why are you sorry?”
“Um…” I began. “B-because I’m a mess?”
“You arenota mess,” he said definitively, but he must have forgotten I could feel his emotions because the turmoil was thick between us, clouding my senses. “Though I didn’t think it’d happen to you, itiskind of expected, in a way.”
I sniffled, rubbing my sleeve under my nose. “What do you mean?”
“You’ve always liked having your own space,” Julian began, pulling out his handkerchief and dabbing at my eyes. “At the same time, the five of us share a unique connection. You’ve never felt this way before?”
I shook my head.
“And you don’t get upset when Damen, Titus, and I are working?”
I shook my head. That was different from what happened with Miles. They were only a short car ride away and would be right back if needed.
“Then what is happening is most likely a combination of separation anxietyandafear over the imbalance that will happen when one of us is missing,” he said. “That part, at least, is manageable once you get used to your abilities.”
It had darn well better because this was not acceptable.
“See.” He grinned and poked my nose. “You’re still yourself. Now,” he continued, turning from me as he dipped his handkerchief in the water. “Let’s get you cleaned up, and then we can go back and tell Miles the truth about Bigfoot. He won’t be able to complete his ‘quest’ if he continues in this vein. He should pick something more achievable.”
“But…” I’d already told him…
How did Julian know of my feelings on this matter?
“I’m joking,” Julian continued in a light tone as he wrung out the cloth. “He’ll ignore us—he needs to figure it out alone. Sometimes, he’s too stubborn. However, before we leave, we should let him—and Damen—know about your feelings. That way, he knows why it’s important to hurry, while Damen can help suggest some coping mechanisms.”
I wiped my eyes with the back of my sleeve. “Miles is stubborn?”
“Yes…” Julian shot me a look. “When he sets his mind on something being right or wrong—or has an idea—he won’t compromise. He tends to see things differently than the rest of us. That’s why he helped you when Damen was going to exorcise James.”
“Hm.”
“Here,” he said, turning back to me. He raised the cloth to my face and continued, “Let me help.”
My breath caught in my throat as the damp cloth touched my cheek. The gentle pressure against my skin made the forest blur and fade, replaced by sterile white walls and harsh fluorescent lights. The cloth brushed the outside of my eye, and suddenly, my lungs were burning, screaming for air that wouldn’t come.
But why… hadn’t it been a dream?
“Bianca?”
My name echoed in my head as Julian’s calculated calm broke through the panic. I could feel his concern pulse through our bond as he dropped the cloth and moved to steady my shoulders.
“Darling, you’re okay.” Julian’s fingers pressed steadily over my arms, and the panic spreading through my chest was chased away. I could breathe again as a warm comfort began to cover me until, finally, I could see again.
Julian’s face swam in my vision, and belatedly, I realized I was lying in his arms. The air was deadly and calm, and a hint of cold darkness lingered just outside my sight. His expression was carefully serene, but he couldn’t entirely hide his concern.
“I’ve got you,” he said, pushing my hair away from my face. “There’s no reason to be afraid.”
Afraid… My heart was still pounding as I stared at him.
