Page 98 of Brambles and Bellflowers
“W-weakness?” I hugged myself, trying to chase away the chill.
“You.” Miles’s voice echoed in my ears. He wasn’t even giving me the chance to run away. “You’re his weakness.”
The air thickened. “Wh-what?” I asked. “But Julian said he and I never—”
“Mu has never been with Huo romantically, at least that I know of,” Miles interrupted. “But there’s always been an obvious interest. I don’t know what happened between the two of you, but I do know that you had an agreement. Regardless, Officers, the Council, the public—most people are under the impressionthat something was already there. People’s focus shifted from Huo to Mu because the easiest way to force any of us into compliance would be to use your safety as motivation.”
I sucked in a breath.
“That makes this especially hard.” Miles sighed as he rubbed the back of his neck.
“Wh-what?” I asked.
“Like I said, you and I are the ones who care the most about humans,” he replied, pointing between the two of us. “I, however, only had a passing interest. You’re the one who changed the status quo and started the reincarnation cycle.”
I bit my lip. What did that mean? Though, it didn’t seem like the right time to ask.
“You’ve always been interested in humanity—youcareabout their emotions because you can feel them. You wanted to learn about this realm, about people, which led the rest of us to follow,” Miles continued. “That is how you’ve become the emotional center of our group while Damen remained the leader. You gave us a purpose. You made us see that humans were worth the effort. That people could be good.”
My heartbeat was echoing in my ears. My toes and fingers turned numb.
But… People were mean and scary and took advantage of you. The world was dangerous.
Miles frowned at me, his mouth twisting before the indecision melted from his expression, and he stepped forward, grasping my hands. “What happened to you represents the darkest aspects of human nature. I wasn’t sure how to say this before, but we’re going to run into some serious problems if you’re not careful.”
“What do you mean?” My lips felt numb.
“The others…” Miles’s voice was tight, and a hint of regret twisted on his expression. “Their connection to humanity stemsthrough you. Ifyoudon’t believe in the people of this world, they won’t either.”
But… what would happen then?
“I—I don’t think everyone is bad…” I protested weakly, pulling my hands from his and fingering the edge of the blanket. I shook my head at Miles’s doubtful glance, my resolve firming. “I don’t!”
He didn’t seem reassured.
“I’m just scared…” My voice trailed off as the expression on his face began to dissolve into something heartbreaking.
I didn’t want him to feel sorry for me.
“Iknowthere are good things in the world.” My skin grew clammy. “I don’t want most people to get hurt…” Only some individuals, explicitly chosen by me. But they didn’t count. “I try to be normal.”
“You are normal.” Miles wrapped his arms around my shoulders as he pulled me to him. His shirt was rough on my face, and his touch was steady as he stroked the back of my head. “I didn’t tell you this to upset you. I wanted to give you hope.”
“Hope?” I sniffled.
“You stopped Damen and Julian from punishing Finn,” Miles said, brushing the back of my hair with his fingers. “I don’t think you understand the significance of that.”
How would it be? Why should Finn have been killed because of something I did?
Now, if they were going to kill him for any other reason? Maybe…
“You keep going back and forth,” he sighed. “As much as it pains me to say this, I don’t think you hate Finn. I don’t think you want to hate Finn. You’re angry that you feel guilty about feeling angry.”
My breath caught—he wassowrong.
Iwantedto hate Finn with every fiber of my being. There was absolutely nothing appealing about his arrogant face, the hesitant way he looked at me, his social awkwardness, his smelly socks, or the way he cheated at Old Maid.
Absolutely nothing.
