Page 2 of Brambles and Bellflowers
“That’s true.” She nodded, tapping her nails on the top of the desk. “But he’s not telling you the whole truth either. Normally, the Xing reside full-time together. Huo’s job is to take care of the rest of his quintet. Miles can only reside elsewhere since it’s already been established as part of your history.”
I felt myself frown. “But Titus had his mansion.”
“He collects properties and visits them,” Dr. Kohler said with a shrug. “He did not live there. On the other hand, Miles normally does not live with the rest of you even though he has a room at Damen’s house. I believe he’s only done so recently because of your presence.”
“Oh.” I bit my lip. “H-how do you know all this?”
“Anyone who might potentially be an Officer is required to learn the history of the Xing,” she said. “Outside of that, there are even nursery rhymes told to children that use examples of your lives to teach moral lessons.”
Moral lessons—fromme? I wasn’t sure what children would be expected to learn from my example, except maybe tidbits on honor, integrity, honesty, and humility.
I wonder what these stories were. It would be fascinating to learn.
“In any case, from a historical account, Tu has always lived separately,” she continued. “He meditates alone and likes being free to do his work.”
“I don’t care if it’s something well-known. It doesn’t make it right.” I crossed my arms and glared at the desk. “He shouldn’t have left without talking to me first. That ‘good-bye’ doesn’t count.”
“Knowing him, he probably thinks he gave enough of an explanation. Plus, he’s never even bothered to leave a note before. You should feel honored.”
Honored, bah.
That was the furthest thing from how I felt right now.
Betrayed? That was more like it.
“You’re in a period of reflection right now,” Dr. Kohler said. “With Miles gone and things slowing down, you could take this time to learn more about him—and you. There are things you can do to keep busy.”
Maybe… Miles’s room had been terribly messy. And wouldn’t he be so happy to have a lovely, clean space to return to?
I wondered where his apartment was.
“Do you realize you’ve spoken to me more these past five minutes and given me greater insight into your thoughts and feelings than any other time in all the years I’ve known you?” she asked.
The strange nature of the question pulled my attention back to her. “But… we’re just talking.”
What else did she expect? That I’d sit quietly like a fool?
“Usually, you sit quietly in all our sessions.” She tapped her chin, her expression thoughtful. “And we’ve done play therapy before since you refused to be alone with anyone else. But you’d never participate with even that.”
But watching her play with finger puppets and put on a show had been super exciting—especially when she did voices. Why would I interrupt that?
“I never understood where I went wrong. Your speech therapist did play therapy, and you engaged.” She nodded her head. “In her notes, she said she set up dollhouses, and you’d open up—”
“No.” I shivered at the memory. Those unfortunate children who might have appointments after mine would have suffered greatly without my involvement. “Ms. Sanchez wasruiningthe dollhouse! I had no choice but to intervene!”
“She was ruining it?” Dr. Kohler asked.
I nodded, clutching my fists to my chest. The horror remained with me to this day. “She would put the furniture in all wrong! Places that didn’t make any sense at all. It was terrible.”
Dr. Kohler seemed to be working out a puzzle in her head. “So”—she mused after a moment—“you respond to agitation. It makes sense. They say Mu was always a bit obsessive-compulsive. My mistake. I was trying toavoidannoying you. Most trauma patients shut down when pushed, but pressure appears to make you come alive.”
That was the dumbest thing I’d ever heard. I wasalwaysalive. Besides, Dr. Kohler had annoyed me plenty of times, so I had no idea what she was talking about. I just chose to ignore such infractions.
And what was she talking about—trauma? That was a bit of a stretch. My pulse raced.
I opened my mouth to respond, to tell her that I was ‘perfectly normal now, thank you very much,’ when the office door opened and Julian strode into the room. He was grumbling something indecipherable as he pulled at the neck of his navy scrubs. The dark shadow over his face faded once he spotted me.
“I didn’t think you’d be here so soon.” He smiled, blue eyes shimmering, and warmth swelled through my chest. My heart warmed as his genuine joy at seeing me reached through our bond.
