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"I know…" he said. "But I'd still get you out in a minute if you said the word, sweetheart."
My heart flip-flopped in my chest. I rested my hand there below my collarbone as I lay back on the sofa. I'd give anything to hear him say that. To hear him say anything, really. For so long, all we'd had were words. Just words on a screen and now,nowthe possibility of voices and video… it was almost too much.
Too much, and at the same time, not enough.
I longed for more. For a normal relationship. To hold hands and walk outdoors. To run through a meadow, bare feet in the grass. To kiss in the moonlight.
My breath caught in my throat as I, for what felt like the millionth time in my whole life, realized that I may very well never have any of those things.
Pressing my lips together, I swiped out a question on the screen. Then, I deleted it.
Typed it again. Fixed a typo. Stared at it.
Hit send.
"Kinden… can i ask you a question?" I asked, biting my bottom lip, nervous as the words appeared in the chat box.
He replied almost instantly. "Anything, Zelle. I'll answer it if I'm able."
"Are you guys my boyfriends?" I asked, tapping out the words quickly before I lost my nerve again, like I had with Rifyr. "I only ask because I've never had even one boyfriend… and…"
He was quiet for a long moment. It felt like it lasted forever, but in reality, it was probably only a few seconds. And then the three dots appeared at the bottom of the window.
He was typing.
"I can't speak for the other two, but in my case, yes. I consider you my girlfriend."
"And you don't care about Rifyr or Sorrel being involved too?"
"Nah. I'm cool with you being with all of us. Besides. They're both great guys. Come from some very nice elven lines."
I rolled my eyes. Elves were so weird.
"Right, because family lines are all that matters…"
He sent an eye-roll emoji. "Look, I know it doesn't matter to a little green witch like you, but to us, it's a big deal. And speaking of which… if you could give me your birth parents' surname, I could dig up some research for you."
"I doubt you'd be able to find anything about them. They were poor humans. My mother was a kitchen witch and I don't know anything about my father."
"You could still tell me your surname…" he prodded.
Sighing, I knew I couldn't hide something like this forever. "I don't know it," I confessed. "Mother won't tell me, says it's not necessary for me to know. I kind of have to agree. There's nothing that could possibly benefit me by knowing it."
"Oh, I dunno, Zelle. Maybe you could know something about yourself that she couldn't own or take away from you."
My face grew hot, my heart thumped rapidly in my chest as I rose to the occasion. I had to defend myself. Defend Mother. He didn't really know. Not really.
"Mother has been very good to me," I stated.
"You can't possibly believe that, Zelle. She took away the thing you needed the mostandyour only link to the outside world. All because you voiced a negative opinion about her. True friends don't like when you say something negative about them, but they don't retaliate like that either. She's not good to you. Look, just because she technically owns you doesn't mean that everything she does is the best for you."
Oh… gods. What if she-- What if she finds out what I'm doing? Who I'm talking to?
"I need to go.." I said quickly, my face flushing hot as the paranoia began to set in.
What if Mother somehow saw this chat? My heart thudded in my chest as I hurried to say goodnight to Kinden.
He sent me message upon message after I said goodnight. So many that I had to sign out of the app to keep from going crazy with all the chimes and notifications.
