Page 51 of Bitten & Burned
Hold them until they dulled, until she forgot them…
Or until I found a way to burn them from her memory.
Whatever it took.
QUIL
I shut the door behind me and slid down the wall, knees up, head in my hands.
The bond throbbed like a raw nerve—her fear, her hurt, all of it bleeding into me until I couldn’t tell which was hers and which was mine. I pressed the back of my head against the wall until it thudded. Once. Twice. Again. Anything to drown it out.
And the smell. Camarae, help me, the smell was all around me. Not just that sweet rotten-wrong scent that came off her since the sigil, but other scents too. Her hair. Her skin.
Her breath. Herblood.
All of that, I could ignore. I’d been ignoring it up until now; it was just… more potent. But her face stayed burned into me. The way she’d looked at me—like every venomous word I’d spit had hit exactly where I’d aimed. And maybe worse, like she believed them.
Another thud. I didn’t hear the knock until the door creaked open.
“Quil.” Cassian’s voice was low but tight, like a bowstring drawn too far. “You’re not going to fix this sitting in the dark.”
I didn’t look at him. “Go away.”
“No.” The door shut with a quiet click. “You left her there,bleeding, after calling her a disease. Do you know what that did to her?”
I stared at my knees. “I know exactly what it did.”
“Then fix it,” he snapped.
“I…” I faltered, shaking my head. “I didn’t mean it. I was just… fuck, I was so angry at Vael. It’s his godsdamned fault this happened! He didn’t prepare her. You saw her, swaying on her feet. She shouldn’t have been participating in any rituals.”
“If you’re angry at Vael, you should direct your anger to him. It’s a poor man indeed who directs his anger at those weaker than him.”
“Yeah, well. I never claimed to be a good man.”
Cassian huffed out a laugh. “That’s true. You haven’t. But I think you are. And I think you know what you have to do now.”
I shook my head. “She doesn’t want me anywhere near her right now.”
Cassian stepped closer. “She’s bonded to you. She’s going to feel that you’re gone, and it’s going to hurt worse than whatever Vael just did. You really think disappearing is going to make her believe she’s safe here?”
“I’m not disappearing.”
“Looks like it from where I’m standing.” His jaw flexed. “Do something, Quil. Anything. Even if it’s small. Just… don’t leave her with nothing.”
I kept my head down, but his words dug in.
When he left, the silence rushed back in, heavy and sharp. I sat there for a long time, the bond still.
DMITRI
I’d been there for a while. I’d listened as her loud, echoing cries of pain quieted—lessened until they came fewer and farther between. They were still there, but softer now.
I hadn’t stopped wanting to go to her. To hold her. To tellher,No, you don’t deserve every bad thing, Mishka. You deserve only beauty, sun, and magic.
But I didn’t.
Not because she didn’t deserve it, but because I knew what she needed and what I wanted to give her were not the same.
