Page 72 of Where the Dark Knelt
“You want to cuddle me?”
He grinned and nodded. “Would that be okay?”
I furrowed my brows. “I thought you didn’t do the emotional thing?”
Alfie smiled softly. “This is about comfort, not emotions, Lily.” As if it made perfect sense to him.
I sat staring at him for a few minutes. It felt like a bad idea to me. I seemed to be full of them since coming to the US. My mind wandered back to the intimate times we had shared, and the fact that we sat here trying to act like those times had never happened.
We were trying to be friends.How do we forget all the crazy, sensual, insane feelings that we evoked in each other?I had behaved shamelessly with him, completely uninhibited, when we were exploring each other and now we were this?
My heart ached whenever I was around Alfie because not being able to touch him felt like torture considering I had previously explored and pleasured every inch of his body. It saddened me to think he had never felt that same emotional bond I’d had.
That fact devastated me because I felt a failure in that respect. Alfie had been honest with me, but I hadn’t been honest with myself at the time, because I had fallen in love with him. Worst still, I loved him, knowing full well that it was the last thing he wanted to happen.
Alfie cleared his throat, and I realized he was still waiting for my answer. My heart began to race.Could I stand being nearhim? Would it weaken my resolve?Sensing my conflict, he asked, “Do you want a safe word, Lily?”
I was puzzled, my brows furrowed. “What’s that?” He gave me a sexy half smile.
“Your innocence is so adorable,” he confessed, shaking his head at me. “If there is anything I do that you’re not comfortable with, you can say it, and I’ll know and promise to back off.” This sounded like a good idea.
“Okay, yes I need a safe word.” I nodded. Alfie waited, gazing at my face.
“What?” I asked, confused again.
He smiled. “You pick the word then, or a phrase—something we can remember.”
I couldn’t think of anything at first, and then it came to me. “Emotion,” I said.
“Emotion it is then,” he agreed, his facial expression giving nothing away.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
SAFE
Alfie turned the lamp out at the back of the sofa, complaining it was reflecting off the television, blocking his visual of Ryan Reynolds. The room was dark now, except for the glow from the TV screen.
Throwing my leg over the arm of the chair, I tried to lie down to make myself more comfortable. It wasn’t the biggest chair, and I only managed a few minutes in that position before needing to move again.
Alfie glanced over, and then patted the couch near him. “Come here. It’s more comfortable on the couch. I won’t touch you if you don’t want me to.”
Moving onto the couch, I scooted up in the opposite direction from where he was sitting, tucking my legs under me.He chuckled lightly and glanced back at the movie. “It’s okay, Lily. Really, I won’t touch you inappropriately,” he reassured me, without taking his eyes off the television.
Beginningto relax, I had to admit it was more comfortable. We ate popcorn, and Alfie laughed at me when my legs began running during an action scene. I began climbing upthe arm of the couch as the storyline got more exciting and hid my eyes.
At one point, I kicked out with fright, and he caughtmy bare leg, settling it over his knee. His arm rested on it in a casual way. I left it there because he didn’t stroke it or anything, and I didn’t want to make a big deal of moving it.
The movie ended and I realized how much I’d slouched into thecouch. It was too comfortable. Alfie turned to face me. “Are you staying for the other one?”
I was so glad when he asked me this and wasn’t making any assumptions about me being there with him. I didn’t know whether I should though.
“What time is it?” I asked, stretching. I noticedAlfie’s eyes fall to my midriff, and realized my blouse had ridden up, so I quickly pulled it back into place.
Alfie sprang up.“Just going to get some nibbles, I’ll be right back. It’s only just before nine.”
“Can you stay?” I was unsure as to whether I should, and when I hesitated, he added, “Please? I hate watching movies alone. I can’t share the good parts if no one is here.” I could relate to that, so I agreed to stay.
The secondmovie had a darker, scarier plot to it. I wasn’t that keen on some of it and hid my face in my hands. I buried my head in the back of the couch at one point. Alfie laughed softly at my reactions.
