Page 77 of Where the Dark Knelt
SEXPERT: My favorite place for you, can’t you nap and I’ll pick you up?
Pink Lady: What do you want from me???
SEXPERT: A friend.
I stared at the screen. To be fair, he had been fine since our truce.Why should it matter to me that he’s with someone if I was a friend?My true feelings for him were anything but that of a friend. I didn’t answer him, instead, I rolled over and fell asleep, exhausted from thinking about it all.
“Lily, honey…Lily!”Saffyshook me awake. I was disorientated because it was still daylight, but I was in bed. Then I remembered I was napping.
I cracked my eye open, and she smiled at me. “Alfie’s here, Lily, he thinks that he’s taking you to see his band.” I sat bolt upright.
“He’s here?” She nodded.
“Yup, thing is, I need to leave soon. Will’s picking me up. I have an event on my campus this evening.”
I smiled weakly. “Yeah, Willtoldme about it this morning.”
Saffyhuffed. “So, you need to get a wiggle on and make yourself decent. I need to leave in about fifteen.”
The last thing I wanted was a scene with Alfie in front ofSaffy, so I went into the bathroom and took the quickest shower ever. It was too hot for jeans, so I put on a cute little skater dress. It was deep red with black edging. I accessorized this with some bangles and a couple of cloth bands on my wrists, then put on some ballet pump type shoes for comfort.
Alfie may not deal with emotions, but my stomach was in crisis. I had butterflies, the adrenaline in my veins pumping so fast I could hear it deafening me. A swooshing noise was in my ear, so loud it prevented me from eavesdropping on the conversation he andSaffywere having only feet away.
My smile hid my feelings, as I tried to enter the living room as breezily as I could.Saffyturned and smiled. “There you are. Okay guys have fun. See you tomorrow, Lily.” She kissed my cheek and whispered, “You’re a knockout in that dress.” She winked at me and left us to head for the door.
Following her, I closed it behind her, and was turning back to face Alfie when he spoke. “Oh God, Lily, you look stunningly beautiful in that dress.” His reaction was genuine, I could see the pleasure I was giving him on his face.
My aching heart cracked again, that he desired me, but not enough to commit to anything. Alfie looked such a bad-boy, and very sexy in his skinny jeans, white T-shirt, and brown leather jacket. I always struggled to look at his face without wanting to kiss it. I think I stared too long, and he moved beside me. “Are you ready?”
No, I’m never going to be ready to be just friends with you.“Sure,”I squeaked out, my voice less convincing than the smile I was giving him.
I gathered up a wrap. Even though it was Florida, the airconditioning in some places was set so low, it made me feel uncomfortably cold. As we were leaving he tried to place a hand on the bottom of my back, but I kind of scooted to the side so it didn’t linger there.
I thought I saw the beginnings of a smile in his eyes, but I let it pass when his body language seemed normal. As we walked to his car, I wanted to ask him about that woman on campus, but I had no clue how to start that conversation, and I didn’t trust that I’d be able to carry on with the evening if his explanation wasn’t what I wanted to hear.
My mouth was dry, suddenly nervous to be sitting next to him, my hands betraying my feelings as I kept picking at the hem of my dress. “Did you have a good nap?” He turned to look, briefly at me smiling.
“Yeah, I think so.” I was struggling to engage with him, dwelling on my earlier visual of him with his little blonde woman. She was cute too, which made me feel even worse. I wasn’t sure who I felt worse for, her or me.
Breaking the silence, Alfie said, “Is this how all our evenings are going to start?” I glanced at him, but he was looking straight ahead at the road.
“Sorry?” I offered puzzled. He flicked his eyes to me, giving me a half smile.
“You not talking, being shy?”
I felt annoyed with him, but I tried hard to contain this. “I’m not sure what you want from me, Alfie.”
Suddenly his head snapped round quickly this time. “Didn’t we do all this before? Friendship, Lily, isn’t that what you wanted too?” He looked back at the road. I tried to make it okay between us, but my feelings were becoming more of a barrier every day.I wanted to be with him in every way, yet it seemed that I’d have to choose one or another. I could either have sex with no feelings, or friendship with sexual frustration.
“Sorry, I just don’t fully understand why we’re doing this, it feels a bit weird.” He did something I hadn’t expected at that moment, he took my hand in reassurance.
“Lily, ‘friends with no benefits’, it’s your call. If you change your mind, you only have to say, and we’ll stop.”
Chapter Thirty-One
PLAYING WITH ME
As we pulled up alongside our ride to Orlando, I was reassessing Alfie. “Why did you ask me to come with you tonight?” Not answering, he took the key from the ignition and got out.Walking to my side of the car, he opened my door for me.
