Page 89 of Where the Dark Knelt
I tried to crawl backward on the bed, away from him, but he clenched my thighs, locking them in his strong arms and dragged me back into place.He pulled away and smiled, stroking my belly, and I shuddered again.
“Ah, not finished yet?”he stared at my body. I sat up and grasped his large stiff cock in my hand. I returned the act on him, withdrawing my mouth as I felt him tighten so that he came on my breasts. He smiled, and I smiled back, but I felt bad at the same time, knowing that we were both going to regret this.
Will lay us on the bed, and we were quiet for a few minutes until he broke the silence. “You’re feeling pretty shitty now, aren’t you?” Silent tears ran down my face, and I realized that apart from when I came, I had not voiced my feelings at all during sex with him.
“Don’t beat yourself up, Lily.Saffyand I are done, so youdidn’t do anything wrong.” I held my breath at what Will said, then exhaled heavily.
“Didn’t do anything wrong, Will? Jesus, even this is a new low for me.” Will sat up sharply folding his arms across his chest.
“Thanks,” he mumbled.
Shit!“I didn’t mean it like that, Will. I meant another major screw up on my part. I was the sober one. Your judgment is impaired because of the alcohol. I don’t have that excuse.”
“Oh, no you don’t. You were the one that woke up with my head between your legs.” He smirked.“Lily, I still made the move after I knew it was you.”
He turned to face me. “You can’t take the blame for that.”
I hid my face in my hands.
“I should have told you to stop, I didn’t.” He lay back flat on his bed, stretched out and unashamed. “Well, I had a great time, so I’m not sorry.” Sighing, he sounded annoyed. “IfSaffyhadn’t acted all heavy tonight she’d be here and not you. I’m done with her now. I can’t take any more of her shit. I had pretty much made my mind up when she stormed off earlier.” I stared at him, not saying anything.What could I say?
Chapter Thirty-Six
BEAUTIFUL GOODBYES
“Lily, I won’t ever tell her we did this if that’s what’s worrying you.” Will tried to reassure me.
It wasn’t that. I just felt ashamed of what we’d done.
“It isn’t that she may find out, it’s the fact that I did that to her.”
Will sighed. “You didn’t do anything. I’m not with her, and I’m not going back on that, Lily.”
Jumping out of bed, I pulled on my jeans.
“Where are you going? It’s two thirty in the morning.” Will’s face looked concerned.
I continued clipping my bra at the back. “Will, this is wrong,this isn’t good for us at all, andSaffydeserves better.” I sighed. “It looks like she was rightnot to trust us after all.”
Will snorted and turned the nightstand light on. “Are we going to be okay? I’ll speak to her tomorrow.”
I swiveled around on the balls of my feet. “You mean can we still work together? Sure.”
Pointing at the bed, I wagged my finger between us. “Thisisn’t going to be repeated under any circumstances. I must have been out of my mind to allow this to happen.”
Will looked hurt, but I couldn’t comfort him. What we had done was wrong, and I had to make sure that it didn’t happen again. He meant too much to me. Calling a cab, I agreed to speak to him when I’d had a little more time to absorb what had happened between us.
“You’re takingSaffyto the end-of-year party next week. You’re not dumping her before that,” I spat at him. “You can at least let her have a good time at Christmas.”
He nodded.
Sitting in the cab on the way home, I was so angry at how weak I was, and angry with Will as well. We should have had more restraint. It made me think about my relationship with my closest and oldest friend, Jack, back in the UK.
Elle used to tell Jack and me ‘Get a room, already’ because of our flirty relationship. We’ve been friends since we were four years old and we still remained as tight as ever.
The thought of that kind of thing happening with him would rock our relationship to the core.I had seen Will as someone who would be in my life a long time, but now, I wasn’t sure that we hadn’t blown our special connection. I guessed only time would tell.
AvoidingSaffybefore college, I continued in that vein for most of that week. Will and I argued constantly both in college about music, and also about who was responsible for what had happened between us.When the party night arrived, Saffywas determined that we get ready for the party at Will’s place, and if I hadn’t gone it would have seemed most strange.
