Page 66 of Where the Dark Knelt
“Are you okay? You didn’t come back.” He put out his hand to lead me back and I let him, trembling. “Are you cold?” he asked.
“No, just tired.” I managed a weak smile. I didn’t know how I faced being around everyone after that. We stayed another half hour, then I told everyone I was exhausted and needed to go home.
Will followed me out to my car.I didn’t see Alfie again while we were there. We’d arrived in separate cars, and he walked me to mine when we left. We arranged to meet as usual in the morning, then he hugged me tightly, rubbing my back.
“I’ve had a lot of fun this evening, thanks for understanding, Lily.” I smiled tiredly at him.
“No worries.” My response was muted, but it was the best I could manage.He kissed my nose and sat me in my car.
“Remember, you haven’t seen me this evening.” He winked.
I felt bad because I knew that as soon as I sawSaffy, she was going to ask me about Will. It was a horrible situation, and I was going to have to lie.Why was everything so complicated here?
Shifting my car into gear, I drove off feeling drained about Alfie.As I rounded the corner, he was leaning against his car, flagging me down. I was torn between running him over and stopping.
Stopping, I wound my window down partway. My heart was pounding at him being there again. “Truce?” he asked,tapping his fingernails on the side of my car, smiling sheepishly.
“What is this, Alfie? This has got to stop. I can’t deal with this shit, you’re scaring me.” I swallowed hard. It was true his behavior was freaking me out now.
My voice sounded quiet and shaky when I was speaking, and he looked a little shaken by my statement. “Can we talk? Just talk, no mind games?”
I felt exacerbated. “I’m really tired, Alfie, I just want to go home.” In truth, his stalking had taken the last of my energy.
“Can I drive you home? We could talk like this.” He wagged his finger between us. “I’ll collect you in the morning to come get your car.”
I shook my head. “No, I don’t want that,” I stated firmly. I really had feelings for Alfie. I was not going to be emotionally bullied because of my physical attraction to him though.
“Can I get in then? Would you drive me home, so that we can talk?” This was the last thing I wanted, but I figured that we needed to clear the air so that he would stop behaving like this toward me.
“Please, Lily. I just want to talk to you.” He gave me a half smile and looked sincere, but I knew that his smile had worked with many other women in the past. Even so, I was intrigued to find out what he had to say for himself.
Aware I was making a pretty stupid decision even before I agreed, I resigned myself to try to conserve some normality around him. And that meant I’d have to discuss it with him.
“Okay, I’ll take you home, but cause me any problems, and you’ll have to walk back to get your car.” He grinned and jumped in the passenger side before I could change my mind, making the leather seat squeak.
Edging away from him, I faced the front, driving a little too carefully, waiting for him to speak. His hand slipped alongthe back of my seat. “Do you mind, I don’t like distractions when I’m driving.” He chuckled, and I turned to glare at him. He realized I wasn’t joking with him and took his arm back.
“Why did you stop?” I shook my head incredulously at him.
“Why did I stop the car? You were in front of it,” I huffed.
“No. Us,” he husked, wagging his index finger between us again.
I swallowed hard and stammered, then I tried to speak before my thoughts had fully formed in my head. “I-it just wasn’t for me… the whole ‘fuck buddy’ thing, and there was no ‘us’,” I stated flatly.
He snickered.“I was there, Lily. I still feel you, and you still feel me, so that’s bullshit.And, it wasfor you, you can’t tell me you didn’t like it,” he bit back at me, his mouth curled in a sneer.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
FRIENDS
Sitting quietly, my breathing was a tad fast from his nearness and from the exchange that had passed between us.“Okay, it wasn’t what I wanted. I thought I could do the no-emotional-ties sex thing. It left me with a bad taste in my mouth, Alfie.” He narrowed his eyes in a hard stare for what seemed like ages, not speaking.
He sighed in exasperation.“I warned you that I wouldn’t get emotionally involved with you, Lily. I can’t ever love you,” he said, shaking his head. “I want you, but I can’t ever make a commitment to you.” My heart squeezed hard at his harsh words.
“Whyis that?” I whispered sadly. “What’s wrong with me?” Alfie squeezed my hand, his face looking sympathetic toward me. “God, there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re perfect. Believe me, Lily, I just can’t.”
“You tellme you can’t, but don’t I deserve a reason? I’m flesh and blood, a young woman, not a toy or some whore off the street that you can pay for. I don’t want to have any kind of relationship with someone who only wants my body and only speaks to me when no one else is around.”
