Page 82 of Where the Dark Knelt
“Jesus, Alfie, just fuck her already. The tension is killing me.” I was mortified that his band had been watching us. Alfie turned and scowled. “Shut the fuck up and have some respect, dude.” Then he looked at me and seemed genuinely apologetic.
Tears welled in me.I just had to get out of there. I ran, not knowing where to. I had no clue where I was, but I knew I didn’t want to be around these people.
“Lily, wait!” Alfie shouted after me, but I continued to run.
I was a fool to think we could be friends. It would probably always be like this. My distress confused me, but I somehow made it outside.
There were a couple of security guys and a roadie hanging around the doorway. I saw Dan, the van driver, and was about to speak to him when Alfie softly said, “It’s, okay, I’ve got her… Stop, Lily, I’ve got you.” He had his hands out, and Dan backed off and walked away.
Alfieturned me to face him, and I was sobbing uncontrollably now. He engulfed me in a bear hug. I couldn’t breathe, he was suffocating me with this hot and cold treatment, suffocating my love for him and using it to torment me.
This situation was all wrong.I could never be ‘just friends’ with him. Overwhelming feelings of love and the reality of this engulfed me. I couldn’t settle for less than the whole deal with him. I was here in his arms, and I had to resist him.
I would have to hide my true feelings for him. He was comforting me, rubbing my back, telling me, “Shush.” I let him because I needed something at that moment.
When I had calmed myself, Isummoned up the energy to push him away from me. “I’m staying here tonight. I don’t want to travel back with you. I just need a cab to take me to a hotel.”
He puthis hand out for me to take it. “Come here, babe.”
I was incensed. “I am not your babe, Alfie, stop it… I’m not your anything, remember?”
His eyes darkened and he looked wounded by my outburst. “Come on, Lily, I’m sorry, don’t be ridiculous…”
I was furious. “Ridiculous? You and your perverted ‘mind fuck’ treatment is what’s ridiculous. I don’t want to be around you, ever! I hate you. You play with me like I’m nothing. Leave me alone, don’t touch me again, don’t call me, don’t come near me. I can’t stand this anymore. I don’t want anything from you!”
He looked stunned by my outburst.
I turned to a roadie who was standing watching me. “Please help me. I want him to stay away from me,” I demanded, pointing toward Alfie. He stepped forward, and Alfie’s jaw clenched.
“I got this, buddy, she’s always this dramatic when she’s been drinking,” he quipped.
My jaw dropped in disbelief, and I gave the roadie apleading look.He leaned toward Alfie. “All the same, dude, the girl’s upset, and I would rather you gave her some space. I’ll make sure she finds a place to stay, and you can take it up with her tomorrow.”
Alfie was no match for the guy physically, so although he continued to try to sweet talk me, the guy wouldn’t allow him to make eye contact with me. “Dude, you’re done, back off,” he insisted, ushering me away after another minute. The roadie continued to scowl in Alfie’s direction until he walked away, running his hand through his hair.
Joel, the roadie helping me, was great. He didn’t ask me any questions. He drove me to a safe area of Orlando and checked me into a decent hotel. He even sorted out my car rental for me before leaving. We swapped cell numbers, and I agreed to call him if I needed him, should Alfie reappear.
Chapter Thirty-Three
IT IS WHAT IT IS
Standing in the hotel room shower, I sobbed my heart out once again because of that man.
My nose was blocked from all my tears, combined with the humidity, making it difficult to breathe. I felt like I was suffocating, and realized I was starting with a panic attack. I wished for the first time that my parents had been firmer with me and made me stay in the UK.
Crawling into bed, my eyes were stinging, and I fell asleep, too tired to think. When I awoke, my cell was ringing. Squinting at the Caller ID, I tried to focus in the dark. SEXPERT ID flashed so I let it ring out. A minute later there was a beep, telling me he’d left a message. That pattern continued for the next hour. I switched off my phone and sobbed again.Why couldn’t this guy just leave me alone? Does he do this to his other girls? Why does he live alone? Where is his family?
Alfie had been relentless that week in his pursuit of me, yet there was the girl on campus.Where was she while all of that was happening?
Waking a little after nine the next morning, I had a pounding headache.There was no way I was going to make itto college that was for sure. I switched on my cell to call Will and explain. As soon as my cell fired up, I saw seventeen missed calls.Saffythree times, Will five, Alfie eight—five times last night, and three this morning—and one from Joel.
I rang Joel first, figuring he’d be the quickest to deal with.I thanked him for all of his help. I rang Will next. “Where the hell are you, Lily? We’ve been out of our minds with worry here.” His voice sounded really concerned.
Feeling horrible I hadn’t let them know and feeling guilty that I’d worried them, I lied that my cell battery had died, and that I’d stayed the night in Orlando as it had been a late night. “Did you sleep with him?” I was taken aback by Will’s directness.
“No, Will, I didn’t.”
He exhaled as if he had been holding his breath. “Good girl.”
