Page 3 of Darkest Love
I never had the chance to be a normal teenager. Go to parties. Have boyfriends. First kisses. Get drunk. Nothing.
Not when my father kept us locked up for our own protection. Not when my uncle, Denis, locked us up for his own gain. And not when Natalya is obsessed with keeping me safe.
I’m twenty now and I swear, I’m never going to have a normal life.
I find my mom in the living room, reading a book, and drop down onto the couch beside her with an exaggerated sigh.
“Tried to sneak out again?” she asks, flipping a page without even looking up at me.
“How did you guess?”
“You always sigh when you’re annoyed.”
“That’s because I want to be an actual adult. I want freedom. I don’t want to be cooped up inside all day.”
“You have your phone. I know you love being on it.”
“Even my phone isn’t enough to curb my boredom,” I mutter. “How can you even read a book? Reading is so boring.”
“Everything is boring to you apparently.” She finally sets the book down and sets her blue eyes onto me. Even though my mom, Tatiana, is fifty now, she’s just as beautiful as she was when she was younger. Long brown hair and striking blue eyes have always made her a classic beauty. I’m so glad I got her looks and not my father’s. He wasn’t ugly by any means but he wasn’t exactly a heartthrob either.
Thinking of my dad makes me miss him. He’s been gone for five years now but sometimes the pain of his death will creep back in when I don’t expect it.
“There’s a lot you can do around the house,” Mom suggests. “There’s an exercise room.”
“I’ve already worked out today. I love yoga but I can only do so much of it.”
“You can watch TV.”
“You think that rots a person’s brain.”
She shoots me a look. “You can read.” She shoves the book in my face and I push it away before standing up.
“Yes, there’s lots of things to do around the house. Tons of hobbies I can take up. But that’s not the point, Mom. The point is I want to be out there.” I motion towards the front door. “I want to have real life experiences. Date and have a boyfriend.”
“I know you want that, Ana, but it’s not going to happen.”
“Why? Because my goal in life is to be married? Fine. So marry me off! Let Mikhail and Nico and Liam make a marriage deal for me. It would at least be more interesting than being cooped up in this house all day.”
“You’re so different from your sisters. They all feared getting married. But you? You seem desperate for it.”
“Of course I am. I’m desperate for anything. If having a husband brought excitement to my life, I’ll take it. I want to know what it’s like. To be in love.”
She turns back to her book. “Just because they’ll choose a husband for you at some point, doesn’t mean you’ll love him. I didn’t love your father when I was married to him.”
“But you eventually did. And you have four kids. You were happy.”
She hesitates and sets the book back down. “For the most part, yes. I did eventually find love with your father but it took a while. And it was never the burn I was hoping for. But I was content and happy enough. I loved having my four girls. But I don’t want you to think that being married is all it’s cracked up to be. It might offer you some amusement from your boring life now but what if Mikhail, Nico, and Liam decide to marry you off to a man who abuses you? Who controls you? It’s possible. And you’ll be more miserable than you are now.”
I don’t even want to consider that a possibility. Natalya and Sasha and Irina are all happy with their husbands. I just figured I would be too someday.
“So, my only options are prisoner in this home or stuck with an abusive husband for the rest of my life? There’s no in between?”
“Of course there is. And I’ll make sure to put in a word with Mikhail, Nico, and Liam about what kind of man you should marry. I don’t want them choosing a bad man for you. I’ll fight them if they do that. But once you’re married, I won’t have as much say over your life. You’ll belong to your husband then andI’ll lose my last little girl. My baby. And frankly, I’m not ready for that yet.”
“Can you convince them to marry me to a handsome man who will treat me great and give me a ton of control in my life? One that I can love and live an exciting life with? Because that’s what I want. Love and adventure. I want the chance for it.”
She gives me a soft smile. “I want that for you too. But you know how this world works. Mafia men are not known for their kindness. I just want you to be careful. It’s why I’m protecting you now. So you don’t get hurt.”
