Page 2 of Paranormal Love From an Immortal Thug
I blinked. Slowly. So slow it nearly turned into a nap. When I asked what he was looking for in a woman—because I figured I might as well at least try to salvage the conversation—he leaned back, spreading his arms across the back of the booth like we’d just hit a vibe.
“Honestly? Somebody chill. No drama. No expectations. Just...vibes. I’m on a celibacy kick until marriage, so she just gotta be down with that.”
Oh, you gotta be fucking kidding me. Celibate? Until marriage? Sir, I wore matching panties and shaved for this. My pussy was damn near humming like a tuning fork, and you over here talking like a youth pastor on a healing journey. Ain’t no way.I stabbed a piece of lettuce and smiled tightly.
By the time dessert came—a slice of strawberry cheesecake that I was too annoyed to enjoy—I already knew we’d never speak again. When the server dropped off the check, I didn’t even hesitate. I paid for my own portion and told him to take care. Back in my car, I texted Shawnee’s ass.
“This bitch, ” I murmured, tossing my phone into my bag and speeding off.
Back in my apartment, I tossed my clutch on the couch and slipped out of my boots with a groan. I was done. I opened a fresh bottle of wine, plopped onto the couch, and called the group chat.
“Somebody explain to me why I even leave my house,” I said as soon as they picked up. The screen lit up with my three favorite faces, Lenora, Chia, and Kadie. I needed to vent.
“Blind date was wack?” Lenora asked.
I held up my wine. “What you think?” I proceeded to tell them all about my dinner date from hell, and they groaned in unison.
“You know what this means,” Chia said, sitting up straighter. “We need to conjure you a man.”
I blinked. “I’m sorry, what?”
Lenora started laughing. “Nah, for real! Remember that spell thing I told y’all about on TokTick? The one with the candle and the chant and the red wine?”
“I told you I ain’t into all that. Y’all tripping.”
“I’m serious,” she said. “It’s Halloween tomorrow! The veil is thin. Let’s just do it for fun.”
“Period! Let’s do this shit!” Kadie added.
“Y’all not about to get me possessed by some bald-headed ghost,” I said, sipping again.
“Come on, Wednesday,” Chia said. “One little spell. Just for shits and giggles. Say what you want. Be specific. Then drink your wine and go to sleep. Boom.”
I shook my head, but the wine had me giggling. I mean… what was the worst that could happen? “Fine,” I said. “But if I wake up to a demon stroking my thigh, I’m sending all y’all to hell with me.”
WEDNESDAY
E l e v e n - t h i r t yc a m e, and I heard loud-ass knocks at my door followed by Kadie yelling, “Open up, bitch!”
I treaded across the hardwood in my slippers and muumuu, wine glass still in hand. The moment I cracked the door, all three of them burst in like they owned the place. Kadie held a Trader Joe’s bag full of snacks and mini liquor bottles while Lenora had a black candle and a thick-ass book she probably found at the library on Malcolm X Boulevard, and Chia trailed behind in her silk bonnet with her phone flashlight on like she was ghost hunting.
“You hoes are ridiculous,” I said, closing the door behind them.
“And yet you love us,” Kadie replied, kissing my cheek. “Now, where’s your incense?”
“My what?”
Lenora brushed past me, heading straight for my bookshelf like she lived here. “You ain’t got no sage? No palo santo? No frankincense?”
I blinked at her. “Frankincense, Lenora? This ain’t the nativity.”
She smirked. “Then go light a damn candle, sis. We gotta set the vibe.”
I gave up arguing. This was what they did—showed up, took over, made my night better. Even when it was some chaotic group project like conjuring up a man.
Kadie opened the wine, Chia turned on a spooky playlist full of ambient moans and wind chimes, and Lenora laid everything out on the coffee table like we were really about to summon a sex demon from the underworld.
I couldn’t even lie, I loved these moments. Us, unfiltered. Grown-ass women who knew struggle, had our own trauma, our own wins and losses, and still showed up for each other like clockwork.
