Page 17 of Dark Shaman: Eternal Hope
"What else do you know?" She turned back to Areana, her gaze boring into her friend's eyes. Could she still call her a friend? "What else are you hiding?"
"I don't know anything else about Darien."
"You're lying." The accusation came out flat, certain. "Maybe not about Darien, but I know that you are not telling me everything. I've known you for five thousand years, Areana. I know when you're holding back."
Areana's mask slipped for just a moment, revealing something raw and desperate underneath. "There are things I cannot say. Things that would endanger everyone if spoken aloud."
"Cannot or will not?"
"Both." Areana stood as well, moving closer but not touching. They faced each other like adversaries, though they'd never been that before. "There are secrets that aren't mine to share, Tamira. Burdens I carry that I cannot divulge, not even to you."
"Tell me this at least—if you learn anything more about Darien, will you tell me?"
"Yes," Areana said immediately.
But she averted her eyes as she said it, a tell so obvious that Tamira almost laughed. Areana rarely let her true emotions show through the mask of tranquility she usually wore.
"You won't." It wasn't a question. "You'll weigh the information, calculate the risks, decide what's best for everyone, and you'll keep it to yourself if you think that's safer."
Areana's silence was answer enough.
They stood there, two females who had survived together through thousands of years, and Tamira felt the foundation of their relationship shifting beneath her feet. Not breaking—it was too strong for that, forged in too much shared pain and small joys—but changing into something a little colder.
"I would have probably done the same," Tamira admitted suddenly, surprising herself. "In your position, with your privileges and your burdens, I probably would have made the same choice."
"Tamira—"
"But that doesn't make it hurt less." She moved past Areana toward the bench, sinking onto it with a weariness that seemed to pull her bones toward the earth. "It erodes my trust in you."
Areana sat beside her, careful to leave space between them. "I never lied to you, and the information I withheld had nothing to do with you. I never knew the names of the soldiers Kalugal had taken with him. Navuh had no reason to tell me."
Tamira nodded. "What else did he tell you about their escape? Now that I know Darien's fate is entangled with Kalugal's, everything you find out about your son might shed light on mine."
"I don't think Navuh knows where Kalugal is or what he's doing. And just because he occasionally tells me things doesn't mean Iknow my sons. Lokan—" She stopped abruptly, pressing her lips together.
"Lokan, what?" Tamira pounced on the slip.
Areana was silent for a long moment, clearly warring with herself. Finally, she spoke, her voice barely audible. "He thinks that Lokan was captured. He's alive, and..." She trailed off, shaking her head. "I shouldn't be telling you this."
"Who captured him?"
Areana shook her head. "I've already said too much." Areana rubbed her face with both hands, a gesture so uncharacteristically uncontrolled that it startled Tamira. "I'm tired of carrying all these secrets."
The fountain continued its eternal cascade, indifferent to the small drama playing out beside it.
"What kind of man did Kalugal become before he defected?" Tamira asked.
Areana's expression softened. "Brilliant, learned. He was never meant for military life, but he excelled at it anyway. Navuh said he had a talent for strategy but hated the application of it. He would have made a great leader. He is a leader. I have to believe that he still leads the group of soldiers who defected with him. Including your son."
"He gathered others like him," Tamira mused. "Others who hated wars. They were all so brave to escape."
"Or desperate," Areana countered. "We don't know what drove them to take such a risk. What pushed them to do it?"
"Does it matter? They got out. He got them out." Tamira felt tears prick her eyes. "My son might be free, Areana. Actually free. Not serving in Navuh's army, but free to make his own choices."
"If he survived," Areana said gently. "We don't know that for sure."
"Don't." Tamira's voice turned sharp. "Don't take this hope from me. It's all I have."
