Page 22 of Dark Shaman: Eternal Hope
The room had gone completely silent.
"You'll smile at men whose politics disgust you. You'll laugh at jokes that make your skin crawl. You'll share beds with people you find repulsive, and you'll make them believe that you adore them and want nothing more than to be there. You'll gather information that might destroy lives and end careers but could also shift the balance of power and save countless people. Remembering why you're doing this is important. It's not about money or prestige; it's about saving the world."
Regina's hand moved to her earring again, but then she caught herself and lowered it, clasping both hands in her lap.
"It will be hard," Carol continued, her voice softer now but no less intense. "Especially when your targets are not monsters. Sometimes they'll be decent people caught up in bad systems, trying to do their best with impossible choices, but you’ll have to deceive them and potentially destroy them because your mission requires it."
"Fates," Teresa muttered, then caught herself. "Sorry, I just?—"
"Don't apologize for honest reactions," Carol said. "This is the time for them. Once you leave this room after saying yes, honest reactions become a thing of the past."
Marlene straightened in her chair, the socialite mask slipping to reveal something harder underneath. "I've attended countless socialite parties and seduced every type of man. How different can this be?"
"The difference will be remembering who you really are when you've been pretending to be someone else for months. This requires you to become someone else entirely. Your thoughts, your reactions, your preferences are all calibrated to ensnare your target."
Grace removed her fake glasses, setting them on the table. "I've been doing this my whole life. I'm used to playing a part, hiding my immortality, my strength, my night vision, my hearing, and all the other ways I'm superior to humans. This will just be taking it to the next level. I'll become a professional."
Carol shook her head. "When you play roles at parties, you go home and become yourself again. In this work, you might have to maintain a cover for months, even years. You might have to hurt people you've grown to care about. Can you do that?"
Grace's confidence wavered. "Yeah. For the right cause, I think I can."
"Thinking so isn't enough," Carol said. "You need to know."
Regina finally spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. "I want to matter. This is my chance to do something important. To contribute."
"That's admirable and commendable," Carol said. "But are you prepared for the cost?"
Regina lifted her chin. "Are any of us ever prepared for the costs of our choices?"
It was a better answer than Carol could have come up with herself.
All eyes turned to Greta, who hadn't spoken beyond requesting water. She stared at her untouched glass for a long moment before raising her eyes to meet Carol's.
"I did this in World War II," she said quietly. "Not for the clan, but for the Resistance. I seduced Nazi officers, gathered intelligence that saved some lives and cost others. When it was over, I swore that I'd never do it again."
"Then why are you here?" Carol asked gently.
"Because I'm good at it," Greta admitted, self-loathing clear in her voice. "Because I can compartmentalize in ways that frighten me. Because the clan and the world need me again, and I have the experience. And because..." she paused, seeming to struggle with the words, "Because part of me misses it. The adrenaline, the power, the knowledge that I was making a difference. Fates help me, but I miss it."
Carol knew the feeling well. She still missed her courtesan days, and if she weren't mated, she would have jumped at the opportunity to effect change in a way only she could.
"Thank you for your honesty," she said. "All of you. Now, let me share something about my experience." She tucked a curl behind her ear and took a sip of water. "As most of you probably know, I was a courtesan for many years, and I developed thesemethods through trial and error, without anyone coaching me. I was a natural at it—reading people, becoming what they needed me to be, extracting secrets along with pleasure. The difference was that I was doing it for fun, not to change the world, but to exercise my power, not as an immortal who can thrall men to fulfill her every wish, but as a female. Some of you will find that you're naturals at this, too. You'll slip into roles like comfortable clothes, lose yourself in the game, and find a thrill in the deception that's almost addictive. Others will struggle with every moment, fight against the false persona, and count the days until you can be yourself again."
"Which is better?" Teresa asked.
"Neither," Carol replied. "Both have advantages and dangers. The naturals risk losing themselves to the game. The strugglers risk breaking cover because the strain becomes too much. You need to find balance, and that's what I'm here to teach you."
She returned to her seat. "But first, let's see what we're working with. I want you all to observe each other for five minutes in complete silence. No talking, no deliberate communication. Just observation. Then you'll tell me what you've learned." She smiled. "People reveal a lot nonverbally if you know how to look."
The women knew each other, which was less than optimal for this exercise, but their familiarity was superficial, and Carol was certain that hidden layers could be uncovered with focused attention.
At first, the women were self-conscious, trying to project certain images. But as the seconds ticked by, natural behaviors emerged.
Marlene's confident posture never wavered, but her fingers traced small patterns on the table—a self-soothing behavior that suggested her confidence was at least partially restored.
Teresa's analytical gaze moved systematically from person to person, cataloguing and filing information with an efficiency that spoke to years of experience.
Grace smiled several times, trying to make eye contact, seeking connection and approval even in silence. When others didn't respond, micro-expressions of hurt flashed across her face before being quickly erased.
