Page 314 of Chaos has a Name
That made this worse.
It hung there.
He pointed out the obvious.
“What if that makes a mess? I shouldn’t have dinner with her if we’re leaving. What if I like her, and then, we leave?”
Gently, Elizabeth covered his mouth with her palm to calm him down and stop his talking.
“Caspian. What if it doesn’t? What if it’s fun? What if you don’t click and you just make a friend? You can’t go through life hiding because the potential outcomes could be problematic. They could be the best moments of your life. You’re a healthy man in his thirties, and you hide for reasons not everyone is going to have issues with.”
His stress lines soften.
She was right.
He hid the truth about himself because he needed to. The last thing he wanted was the truth coming out, so he was mocked. God knew he’d spent his whole childhood being torn to shreds by his father, his peers, and even when he was in bootcamp.
It had broken him.
The people he was with now made him feel safe, so he didn’t have the same issue with them. They were a family, and he was protected.
Elizabeth continued.
“You worry about every single outcome. Why don’t you just go have dinner with the nice lady, and go from there? Whatif it’s absolutely nothing? What if she just noticed you were decent, and was tired of being around people who weren’t? Not every woman that smiles at you or buys you dinner expects you to dump your whole life out on the table to be analyzed.”
She was right.
People did like friends. The men he worked with, and Muriel, were all friendly and invited him to join in with them for a meal, or an outing.
It wasn’t uncommon.
When she moved her hand for a second time, once more, Caspian was calmer, and he wanted to explain himself.
“I’ve always had to weigh every option carefully. My father…”
She touched his cheek.
“You’re not your father. She’s not your father. Stop trying to make every person you meet the boogeyman. They aren’t.”
He had made her that.
Out of fear.
She was beautiful, and he wanted to be able to trust someone.
“Be honest with her, and she’s going to more than likely appreciate that. You’re a decorated Marine who served his country. So what if you like Vegan food and are sensitive about certain things? I mean, I like eating a whole cow with a bottle of steak sauce. No one says shit about that. What you perceive as being major issues, really aren’t huge. To you they are, but to everyone else, they aren’t.”
He laughed.
“For the record, I do talk shit about your meat consumption when you’re not in the room. I’m praying for your colon.”
Sue her.
She liked a burger a lot.
Blame her father.
“And I’m okay with that. I’ve busted your ass about being a Vegan, and it never bothered you before. It’s the same thing. Laugh about it, and don’t take it personal.”
