Page 129 of Love Is an Art
“Taylor gave a great speech about you. She captured you as a lawyer and as a person,” I say, squeezing her hand. I was proud to say Tessa is my girlfriend. “I can see why you were so determined to catch Howard.”
She glances at me. “Don’t make me tear up again.”
“I enjoyed meeting your friends,” I say. “But you seemed off when I first arrived. Did something happen?”
We sit down at one of the benches as Brit barks at a squirrel. The night air is balmy. The wood of the bench feels smooth and worn. The green grass looks particularly bright in the circle of luminescence around the lamppost. Beyond that is murky darkness, with patches illuminated here and there by the hazy, white light from the luminaires’ glowing orbs.
“Ken said that a FLAFL position opened up and I have to apply now—before I get the bonus,” she says. “It’s a senior position, and they don’t open up that often. But I wanted the bonus first.”
“Can you still afford to take the job without it?”
“I’ve thought about that. I have my mortgage payments, law school debt payments, and my living expenses. And my food expenses will increase because I’m not eating on the client’s tab. As a last resort, I could rent out my room in my apartment and live with my parents for a year. But that's not so great for Miranda.”
She leans against my shoulder. “I’m not sure that’s a real possibility, though. I haven’t lived at home since high school. I love my parents, but I don’t want to live with them. We end up annoying each other after two weeks. I now limit family vacations to a week.”
“You could move in with me,” I say, surprising even myself.
She glances at me and then gives me a hug. “I worry that might put too much pressure on our relationship because we just started dating. But staying over at your place will be a welcome respite from my parents. And I’m not telling you all this to ask for your financial help. It’s more the job. I’m scared to give up my corporate job and my substantial paycheck—as bad as that makes me sound. Because I do get to do pro bono at White & Gilman. And I like the cases and the partners.”
Brit comes back over and puts her snout on Tessa’s leg. Tessa definitely has Brit’s seal of approval. Tessa pats Brit. A warm breeze with the scent of grass and leaves and flowers brushes over us.
“But I hate the system they’ve set up where we compete against each other. Tom is such a jerk, and yet he’s doing well at the firm. Plus, I can’t always do the cases I want. The firm refused to allow me to represent Lily’s garden when it was threatened with eviction.”
“What makes you want to go?” I hold her hand.
She stares off into the distance. “It means more to me. When I succeed in one of my FLAFL cases, it means so much to me.” She taps her chest. “I feel it here. When I win a motion for a corporate client—other than you—I’m happy and relieved, but it’s not like I get that feeling of deep satisfaction that I’ve changed someone’s life for the better.”
“There’s your answer,” I say.
“Is it that simple? I’ve been agonizing over this,” she says.
“Then maybe it’s not that simple,” I say. “What’s holding you back?”
The sound of a plane flying overhead thrums in the background.
“The decline in income and the security that income brings. And the fact that working for White & Gilman immediately commands respect. But saying I’m a FLAFL attorney …”
“Ms. Peres was definitely impressed,” I say.
“But people like Tom … not that I want to impress people like Tom,” she says.
“I thought you were the one who told me that being a lawyer doesn’t define you.”
She stares at me. Her eyes blink. She looks a bit stunned.
“You’re right. You’re so right.” She shakes her head. “I can’t believe you had to point that out to me.”
“And you command respect just by being you.”
“Thank you.” She kisses me, and when I pull back, her eyes are glazed over. She rests her head on my shoulder. The only sound is Brit sniffing around our bench, searching for a squirrel that’s been smart enough to scamper up a tree.
“Let’s head back to my apartment,” I say. We stand.
“I’ll apply tomorrow.” She smiles and hooks her arm into mine. I love how affectionate Tessa is.
Then she pouts. “I’ll miss business travel.”
“We didn’t even get to see Mexico City, except for a few blocks and restaurants.”
