Page 132 of Love Is an Art
I meet his glance. “Yes. If I turn this down, I’m not sure I’ll get another opportunity that’s as perfect for me. I’ll tell the partnership today so no one else advocates for me. Unless you want to tell them … so you protect your position.”
He rubs his brow. “Thank you for thinking of me. I do think you should tell them today.Youshould tell them—not me.”
He’s still protecting me.
“I’m so sorry.” My voice breaks. “I keep making the wrong decisions. I should have told you.” When will I ever learn? I need to be open with my people. I know who my people are, and I need to trust them. “I’ll tell them immediately.”
He sighs and looks up. “It’s understandable. And if you don’t make mistakes, how do you learn? If you haven’t accepted yet, can I convince you to stay?”
“I don’t think so. I’ve learned so much here, but this is my passion. And I’m afraid that if I stay, I’ll get swept up in making partner, and I’ll get used to the money. I’ll convince myself that it’s enough to do pro bono as part of my law firm practice. And that’s not to say that it isn’t. But it’s not enough for me. For why I became a lawyer.”
He nods and smiles, lines creasing around his eyes. “You’re wise to go now. It does get harder to give up the money and the prestige. I’m sorry about the bonus.”
“I’m sorry if I undercut you.”
“I’m a big guy. I can play politics with the best of them. I’ll survive.” He leans back in his chair. “I hope we can work together on a case for FLAFL.”
“That would mean a lot to me. I’d like that—and to stay in touch. Thank you for being such an giving mentor.”
“I’m sure we will stay in touch,” Jack says. “I’ll ask my assistant to add you to my quarterly lunch with associates who have left.”
“There are so many?”
“I have a tendency to adopt those who are going to leave. I thought you were actually going to break my streak.” He shrugs.
“It wasn’t an easy decision. I’m looking forward to meeting the others.”
“It’s a lively bunch, that’s for sure. And some good connections for you.”
I stand. “I’ll tell the managing partner now.”
Jack nods. “That would be for the best.”
“If I may ask, how did you find out?”
“Tom told me.”
“Of course,” I say.How did Tom find out?
As I enter the rarely used, interior fire exit stairwell, silence greets me. I pause and sink down onto the hard concrete step.No bonus.The cold of the concrete seeps through my cotton pants. I stare blindly at the green EXIT poster on the wall ahead.
Should I give all this up?
No bonus. It won’t be easy financially.
I could go back and tell Jack I’ve decided to stay.
No.
I hold on to the metal stair rail and pull myself back up.
It is what it is. It’ll take me another year to pay off my debt.
I can’t lose this opportunity to pursue my dream.
And it’s better for me to leave the law firm on this note—as opposed to taking the bonus and then quitting the next week.
I go straight to the managing partner’s office and tell him I’ve been offered a job at FLAFL and I’m planning to take it.
