Page 68 of Guys Can't Write Romance
“I found the ghost’s sister’s name quite charming, myself,” said Phil. “Lilly. It has a nice way of just rolling off the tongue. Lilly.”
Liv nodded. “It’s definitely a unique name and yet feels somehow… familiar.”
“I noticed that myself,” said Helen, a mischievous twinkle in her eye. “Using a flower for her name was a rather curious choice. Where else might we find someone named after a flower?”
All eyes turned to Daisy, who had taken a sudden interest in reorganizing her pens.
“Oh, come on,” Chad said. “It’s just a name. You guys are reading way too much into this.”
“Of course, dear.” Helen patted his hand with grandmotherly affection that did nothing to disguise her amusement. “Now, Daisy, let’s look at your pages.”
The group turned their attention to Daisy, who appeared to be contemplating whether she could fit under the table without anyone noticing.
“Actually,” Daisy said, “could someone else go next?”
“I’m afraid not, dear,” Mags said, tapping down the stack of Daisy’s pages. “Now, what were everyone’s thoughts on how Rick seems to have developed as a character?”
“He certainly has,” said Ruth, adjusting her glasses. “I quite like this new Rick.”
“He’s still a baseball player,” Daisy said quickly.
“Yes, but now he also coaches little league,” Bernie said.
“And makes inappropriate jokes during serious moments?” Helen added.
“And has, let me quote,” Ruth adjusted her glasses again, finding a specific passage, “‘a disarming smile that makes everything feel less overwhelming’?”
“That’s just... literary flourish,” Daisy said, her normally confident voice reduced to something closer to a squeak.
“Of course it is, dear,” Mags said with a knowing smile.
“And what about this scene,” Liv pointed to a page, “where Rick helps your female lead learn about baseball while teasing her about her organizing habits?”
“I needed sports scenes,” Daisy protested.
“With lingering descriptions of his shoulders and arms?” Philip noted.
Daisy sank ever so slightly in her chair, hoping it would somehow swallow her. “That’s for... accuracy.”
“Oh, honey.” Mags looked between Daisy and Chad, her expression a mixture of amusement and genuine affection. “You two really don’t see it, do you?”
“See what?” Chad and Daisy asked simultaneously, then looked at each other in alarm at their synchronized response.
“Your characters,” Helen said gently, her voice carrying the wisdom of someone who had witnessed the dance of denial many times before. “They’ve changed.”
“Evolved,” Ruth suggested.
“Into each other,” Phil concluded.
The silence that followed was deafening, filled with the unspoken realizations that neither Chad nor Daisy seemed prepared to acknowledge. Chad suddenly found the coffeestain on the table fascinating, while Daisy became extremely interested in reorganizing her pens for the tenth time.
“The good news,” Liv broke in mercifully, “is that both manuscripts are significantly stronger. The characters feel real and relatable.”
“Almost like we know them,” Bernie murmured, stroking his silver beard thoughtfully.
“I’m actually looking forward to seeing where these stories go,” said Helen, her encouragement genuine despite the teasing.
“Unfortunately, I do have some bad news,” Mags said, straightening in her chair. “And that is, you’ve only three weeks until the contest deadline. What I see on these pages is extremely promising, but can you keep up this... inspiration... to see it through?”
