Page 69 of Guys Can't Write Romance
Chad’s entire face was red now, the flush having spread from his ears to encompass his features completely. Daisy had reorganized her pens yet again, each arrangement more elaborate than the last, a sure sign of her escalating discomfort. They exchanged a look, a brief moment of silent communication, then both nodded as if they’d reached some unspoken agreement.
“Yeah,” Chad said, and Daisy nodded in agreement, their usual antagonism replaced by this new, unexpected unity that seemed to both confuse and please them.
“Good,” Mags said, again with her knowing grin that suggested she had seen this particular story play out many times in her long career. “Though we should discuss some technical aspects of your stories. Helen, would you like to begin?”
Helen nodded, folding her hands neatly in her lap as she addressed her comments to Chad. “Chad, comparing your heroine’s organizational skills to a ‘sexy librarian on a mission’ might be a bit... oh...”
“On the nose?” Bernie suggested, his eyes twinkling beneath bushy eyebrows.
“Revealing?” Ruth offered, adjusting her glasses again as if to see Chad’s embarrassment more clearly.
“Thirsty,” Phil concluded with characteristic bluntness.
Chad sank lower in his chair, looking like he might slide under the table at any moment. Daisy, meanwhile, appeared to be calculating the distance to the exit and whether she could make it there before anyone could stop her.
“And Daisy,” Mags turned to her, ensuring no one escaped the gentle roasting, “describing your hero’s coaching style as ‘infuriatingly attractive’ probably wasn’t meant to be quite so...”
“Accurate?” Helen suggested.
“Personal?” Liv added.
“Obvious,” Ruth finished.
“Can we please focus on the actual writing?” Daisy squeaked.
“Oh, sweetheart,” Mags said, reaching across the table and patting her hand with genuine affection beneath the teasing. “That’s exactly what we’re doing.”
For the next ten minutes, the group continued offering their not-so-subtle suggestions for how Chad and Daisy could ‘build tension’ between their leads, while Chad’s face grew progressively redder and Daisy’s pen organization became increasingly frantic. Liv suggested more ‘meaningful glances across crowded rooms,’ while Phil recommended ‘accidental touching that sends electricity up their spines,’ delivered with the same matter-of-fact tone he might use to describe proper wiring techniques.
Much to Chad and Daisy’s relief, the group then moved on to the other members’ pages, which were, admittedly, less entertaining. Bernie’s historical romance set during the Korean War received thoughtful feedback on period-appropriate dialogue, and Liv’s travel-inspired romance about a nomadicartist and a homebody chef was praised for its vivid sensory descriptions. The meeting concluded a half hour later, and Chad and Daisy couldn’t get out of there quick enough, gathering their materials with unusual haste.
“Just remember,” Mags said as everyone packed up, her voice carrying the wisdom of someone who had seen this romance trope — in both books and real life — play out numerous times. “Three weeks until the deadline. Plenty of time for your characters to figure out what’s right in front of them.”
“Unlike some people we know,” Ruth added under her breath, though not quietly enough to escape notice.
Outside the cafe, the evening had grown cool as Chad and Daisy crossed the parking lot to their cars, the group’s observations replaying in their minds.
“So,” Chad said, picking at the strap on his backpack. “That was... uhm... something.”
“Yeah. Definitely… something.”
“They’re crazy, right?” Chad said, hoping for reassurance.
“Totally crazy.” Daisy nodded with way too much enthusiasm.
“I mean, just because my character happens to have some organizational tendencies...” Chad trailed off, seemingly unwilling to complete the thought that hung in the air between them.
“And mine happens to coach little league in his spare time...” Daisy also left her sentence unfinished.
“And I named my character after a flower…” Chad was hesitant to go on.
“Exactly. Lilly’s a pretty name,” Daisy said. “It doesn’t mean anything. They’re just being…”
“Meddlers?”
“Yeah. Meddlers.”
They looked at each other, then quickly away as they reached their cars, parked side-by-side.
