Page 74 of Guys Can't Write Romance
“I told you. It’s research for that writing contest.”
Rhino shook his head. “No. This…” he pointed to the Hallmark DVDs “… is a cry for help. And as your friend, I’m getting you that help.”
“What kind of help?”
“The industrial-strength kind. Don’t move.”
Rhino disappeared into his bedroom and closed the door. A moment later, Chad caught bits and pieces of frantic calls Rhino was making: “Code Red. McKenzie’s gone full Hallmark. Need immediate extraction. Bring reinforcements. And maybe an exorcist.”
Chad groaned and sank onto the couch. He pressed the ‘play’ button on the remote, figuring he’d catch as much of the movie as possible before whatever storm Rhino was brewing made landfall.
Within minutes, Troy and Brett burst through the front door like police raiding a crime scene.
“We got here as fast as we could,” Troy said.
“I brought a cross,” Brett said, holding two sticks taped together in the form of a crude cross. “How bad is it?”
Rhino simply pointed to the TV, where the couple were now ice skating.
“I should’ve brought two crosses,” Brett said, his voice dropping to a horrified whisper.
“Guys. I need to watch this stuff for my book,” Chad said, throwing his hands in the air with exasperation. “There’s a cute yoga instructor at Rhino’s gym. Why don’t you guys go ogle her?”
“Who even says ‘ogle’?” Troy said.
Rhino just shrugged.
“Quiet, demon!” Brett said, holding the cross towards Chad. “Release Chad from whatever…” he pointed to the TV, where the skating scene had transitioned to hot chocolate by a fireplace, “… this is.”
“They were baking Christmas cookies before you got here,” Rhino said gravely.
“This is bad,” Troy said. “Alright, upsy-daisy, McKenzie. We can do this the easy way or the hard way.”
“Do what?” Chad looked between his friends.
“Sorry, bro, but this is an intervention,” Rhino said. “Now, you can walk out of here like a man with what little dignity you have left, or we can carry you.”
Chad’s eyes went from Rhino to Troy and then Brett, who still held out the cross as if it might actually ward off the Hallmark influence. “You guys are crazy.”
“You’ll thank us for this,” Rhino said and gave Troy a nod.
Troy swooped in and grabbed Chad’s feet, while Brett set down the cross and grabbed Chad’s left arm, and Rhino grabbed his right arm.
“What the hell?” Chad said, squirming to free his arms and legs.
“Trust me, bro,” said Rhino. “This hurts us more than it hurts you.”
“It’s going to if you don’t let go!”
With a heave, the boys hoisted him off the couch and shuffled with him across the room toward the door.
“Okay. Fine. I’ll walk,” Chad said.
“Too late, demon,” Brett said as he nudged open the door with his foot and they carried Chad out.
Meanwhile, across town…
Culver City bustled with energy that night as Daisy and Ethan walked from his car, parked in one of the pay lots, to Le Petit Jardin on the next street. The upscale French restaurant, with its garden patio and carefully curated wine list, was exactly the kind of place Ethan liked to feature in his date night rotations.
