Page 11 of A Dangerous Game
I’m sorry.Hulk.
*
By the time I get home from filming, I’m still livid over seeing Thorn. Who the hell does he think he is barging into my life like he’s got some say in what I do?
He made his decision three years ago when he didn’t support me
in my wanting to go to school. I didn’t want to live the club life. I didn’t want to be the club princess who married some man who wasn’t faithful to her. I didn’t want to have to worry about when the next time my husband was going to be arrested.
I wanted more out of life than worrying whether or not my husband was cheating on me when he went on runs. I don’t want to have to worry about all that shit.
And I also didn’t want to have to bury another brother. Burying Victor was hard enough and I couldn’t imagine sending Thorn to his forever bed.
Or Hulk.
My nerves are pulsating and I pace throughout my house trying to calm them down. Nothing is working. “Fuck!” I mutter under my breath.
Tommy’s a powerful man with powerful strokes and I still feel him moving between my legs but that does nothing to ease my anxiety. Absolutely nothing.
God damn it. What am I supposed to do?
Is someone really after my family? Is someone just waiting to pick us off one by one? If so, could they be after me? Does anyone know about me?
Time to go for a run.
Once I’m changed, I allow myself to do the one thing that I haven’t done in a long time. Think about the last conversation I had with my dad.
Lying out the catalogues for the university I just got into, I wait for my dad to look at them. “Why you showing me this?” He barks at me with his balding head bent over to look at the pages.
“I got in! I got in and I’m so excited!” I squeal and clap my hands together.
I’ve managed to squeak through school with a 4.0 GPA and I’m dying to graduate. I’m dying to get the hell out of here to go live my own life without the club overshadowing me. I can’t wait!
“Why you wanna go to school, cupcake?” My dad’s voice rings out. The emotion is raw.
Smiling, I take the seat next to him. “I got in for pre-med! I’m so excited! Classes start in August and then I will graduate within five years!” I retort with excitement.
He shakes his head. “No daughter of mine is going to a school this far away!”
The commute between the club and the university is around five hours… Which means, it's too far of a drive for him to make in one day to come see me. I need my independence from everyone.
“Dad, it's not too far and I will still come home on weekends-” I rush out hoping to ease his pressure.
He slams his hand against the table. “No! How could you decide that you’re better than us? That you’re better than the club? We’ve been there for you for fuckin’ ever. Those brothers love you like you were one their own!”
I shake my head. “Dad, you’re not being fair! I deserve to live my own life.”
“You leave, you leave without my help. I won’t pay for shit. You will lose everything.”
I know deep in my heart that he’s telling me the truth. That he won’t help me with anything. I’m truly about to be on my own.
“If that’s the way it has to be, dad… Then I guess I will be on my own.”
Stubbornly, I want him to apologize and say that he was just talking shit but I know the truth. I know that he’s not going to back down and help me afford college.
The tears sting my eyes as I spin on my heels in search of James. I need to know that I’m making the right decision for us. I need to know that he’s going to support me no matter what.
My feet pound the pavement and my breath comes out in puffs as memories of the last time I spoke to my father flood my brain.
