Page 1 of Adore Me
Chapter 1
I walked into the room where they all were. Everyone looked up at me as I brushed the rest of the sand off of my body. I must have looked homeless with sand covering my body.
I cleared my throat and smoothed my dress down. "Vincent, may I have a moment?" I asked as confident as I could. Inside I was anything but confident. I felt as if an ocean took the place of my stomach and is crashing against the shore. I am so nervous and extremely worried that I am doing the wrong thing.
"Yes, what's going on?" He adjusted himself in his chair to direct his attention on me.
I couldn't do this in here. Not with everyone looking at me. "In private."
Vincent stood up and walked towards me. He excused himself and we walked out of the club house. I led him to the golf mound that I was sitting on and I sat down and so did he. "What is going on?"
I tried to figure out the words the best that I could. This was too hard. "Vincent, I need to end things with you." The words felt like poisonous snakes as they slipped out of my mouth. If I knew another way around this, I would go with it. I feel as if my breathing is slowing and my heartbeat is depleting.
His head shot up and looked at me with angry eyes. "Why?" He almost screamed his question at me. "Are you kidding me? I just put a contract up on my best friend for taking you!" All of the words were like tiny knives that stabbed me.
I recoiled and started to hunch but quickly straightened myself out. "This is all too much. Everything that has happened is killing me inside. I walked around New York without a care in the world to find out that people wanted to kill me. This won't work. We won't work. I can't live my life afraid of what can happen next. I honestly love you, but I need to do this for myself." I turned my face away from him and looked up at the moon. Closing my eyes tight, I wished for the moon to take me away.
"Um." He was quiet as he processed what to say next. Vincent must have known that what I was saying was actually valid. "What can I do?" He whispered and reached out to touch my arm.
Upon contact, I wanted to take it all back, but I needed boundaries. If I can't take care of myself then who will? No one. "There is really nothing that you can do. I am not sure where to go from here. There has been too much to fathom."
I could feel the hot air that was blowing out of his mouth as I assumed, he was trying to keep his temper down. "Are you sure you want to end things? I don't want us to be apart. Please, tell me that you changed your mind." I knew he wanted to say other things to me but the fact that he is being nice, helps me.
That accent does me every time. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes tighter. This is really hard. I wanted to be with him and live happily ever after, but that won't happen. "I want to be with you; however, I want you to be really with me and you can't because of your lifestyle."
He didn't say anything, and I took out my new cell phone and found a number for a taxi. I needed to get away from Vincent because my resolve was fading.
Vincent gripped my elbow with enough force for me to know that he was not happy about this. His words that came next, gutted me and I felt like the biggest wimp ever. "You are really going to do this? I love you so much. I am sorry for everything that has happened to you. These past couple of days have been agony."
"I know what you mean," I breathed out and opened my eyes which were blurry. Part of me wanted to say to hell with it and run off with him. However, the rational side of my brain knew that I wouldn't be happy. "We both deserve to be happy. A relationship shouldn't be about tracking devices and- and- and-and clocking the other person. We should be able to trust each other, be able to go out to dinner without being interrupted. I can't remember the last time that we were together, and somebody didn't interrupt our time. Do you really want to have a relationship like that? Honestly, how are we supposed to be together when you are always with them?" As I was talking, I realized how jealous I was about the family. The mere factor that Vincent spends so much time with them and not me killed. "Do you like having to worry about whether or not I am going to be shot or drugged? This is not what I expected." I really wanted to take back and eat all of those words. The fact that he was quiet really scared me.
The hand that held my elbow moved to my cheek and he forced my face to look at him. "I don't like having to worry about that. However, I made a choice to not live without you. This," he took his hand off my cheek and waved his hand between our bodies, "isn't over. I don't accept that. We will work this out and be happy."
I loved his words and I bathed in them as I listened to them. "How can we be happy? We left the state and they followed us. I feel as if I am also under a microscope. What is there to do to make us feel whole again?"Give me pretty words, Vincent. Make me believe that I am being foolish, and we can ride off into the sunset.
"First off, I will handle the family. Second of all, I decided that I need you in my life. All of this that happened has only proved how strong my feelings are for you. And I know you have feelings for me. Please, don't walk away from me. What is it that you need?" His accent was thick. The words that came out of his mouth were so enthralling.
I don't want this to be over, truthfully but I need to take care of myself. Too much has happened, and I am so worried that one day I am going to hate myself for not doing that. "I think I need some time. All of this is so scary and intense. Can you give me that?"
The silence scared me more than ever. So much can happen during the quiet. Vincent hummed to himself and scratched his neck. "Of course. Under a few conditions."
Really? He is going to put rules on my time. Apparently, Vincent didn't know what give me time meant. "What are those?"
"That you still stay in my house," I opened my mouth to object, but he put his hand up. "Wait a minute," he put his hand further on my face. "You can sleep in the couch room if you don't want to sleep with me. This way I can make sure you are safe. You won't have to do coupley things with me. Hell, I will make it, so you don't even know I am there. Another condition, you stop saying that you want to end things. I know that you are stressed, but it would kill me if you were to leave me permanently. Can you agree with these terms?" He turned my ending things with him into making it seem like a business arrangement.
In truth, I did not have anywhere else to go since I am not really on speaking terms with Anne or Ronnie. Also, I reallydidn't wantto live without Vincent, but I wanted to gain some boundaries. "Yes."
Chapter 2
When we arrived back to our side of New York, it has been nearly two days since I spoke to Anne. I knew that she and Ronnie came back too because the emails from work are sent to both us and she is the one that is responding. It was just a matter of time before I bump into her. Vincent had Stella had moved my stuff into the room with the couch. I was amazed to see that they moved the couch and put a nice and comfortable bed in there for me and painted it a light green. Yes! No bluer. It has been about two days since I had spoken to Vincent. Sleeping in this room will be hard.
I thanked Stella and started to put my things away. In order to give myself something to distract myself from unpacking, I turned on the television and settled to watch some sappy Lifetime movie.
With my stuff put away, and now that the second movie is ending, someone knocked on the door. I got off the bed and opened it. Half expecting to see Vincent, there was Stella. I couldn't let her see my disappointment.
This was my idea to break up and I really didn't have any other place to go. I asked for this and I know that I am punishing him for something he really didn't do... but, I need to protect myself. The protection that I am trying to give myself is good, but it doesn't make it hurt any less.
"Did you want to eat up here or eat downstairs?" She asked as she scanned my new room. "Mr. Vincent isn't here." I could tell that is curious to see what I might have changed since I took over the room. I watched her eyes as they darted all over the place and I waited for her to acknowledge that I am watching her.
