Page 32 of Wickedly Played
He chuckles. “Because he’s your fucking bodyguard. Serena, stop being difficult and deal with it.”
Jim walks out of my office to go back to the meeting with Max and Adam. I don’t even know why I’ve bothered. Nothing is going to change. Max is still going to be a raging asshole no matter what.
I climb the stairs to my room to see that Stella is still on my bed. After removing my clothes, I climb into bed behind her, scoop her closer to me, and kiss her head. She wakes a little as I stroke her hair.
“Serena?”
“Yes?” I answer.
“Do you ever think about what it would be like to be in a real relationship?”
I feel the wind getting knocked out of me. “With you?” I won’t deny that I have feelings for Stella. She’s sunshine, and I needmore of that. Plus, she’s perfect in every way. “Are you asking if I would be in a relationship with you?”
“Yeah,” she whispers against my chest.
I kiss her again. “I’m not good at relationships, lover. I’m the worst at them. I wouldn’t want to do that to you.” I answer her honestly. It is true, I’m terrible at them. The only relationship I have had outside of a D/s one was with my ex-husband. “If I could have one with anyone, I think I would try with you.”
“I think Deacon is jealous of us.” Stella kisses my throat with a little purr.
I know he is.“Lover, he doesn’t like me. I’m cool with it because I still get you in the end.”
“Can you tell me about why you think you’re bad at relationships? Do you want kids?”
Wow. She’s throwing my world off its axis. “I wanted kids before. It didn’t work out with my ex-husband.”
“Why?”
“You are asking a lot of questions today,” I murmur.
She shrugs. “You are hard to get to know. You have this impenetrable fence around you. I feel like you know everything about me, and I don’t know that much about you.”
The darkness is swallowing me whole. I feel the blackness of the abyss pulling into the middle. I try to dig my way out of it as much as I can. I focus on holding Stella in my arms to bring me back to the world. She’s so sweet. What would she say if she knew where I came from?
Fuck. What if Max found out where I came from?
“I got married young as a favor to my parents and his parents. We were married for five years, but it wasn’t a good marriage. I wanted to have a baby, and he didn’t.”
“Why didn’t he?”
I swallow around the hairball in my throat. Should I tell her that he cheated on me? He’s the one who got me into beinga Domme and then left me because he couldn’t handle it. My dissolved marriage is one of my biggest regrets. Maybe I was too much for him. Perhaps if I had tried to be more submissive to him, he would have stayed with me. Maybe he wouldn’t have cheated on me with my sister. I wanted to have a baby to fix everything that was wrong with our relationship. I wanted one so badly, but he stopped having sex with me. Now I know it is because he was with my sister, Amanda, and other women.
“I’m not sure. We weren’t good together.”
“Is he the reason why you wouldn’t try to have a relationship?”
“No, lover. It is because of him that I recognize how bad I am at one.”
She’s quiet for a couple of minutes, and I hope she’s going to drop the questions. “I see how much you care for me, Serena. I think you would be great in one if you were with someone who could see how amazing you are. You are so loving. I’m honored to be your sub.”
Well shit.
Choking back a sob, I kiss her again.
After Stella leaves, I’m walking down the stairs to figure out what I want for dinner when I run into Max. He’s leaning against the doorframe of the kitchen with his arms crossed on his chest. He looks like he just got out of the shower with his hair slightly damp, and he smells like men’s body wash.
“Are you okay?”
I jump a little at how harsh his voice sounds. “Yeah. Why?”
