Page 302 of The Omega Exchange: Omnibus
Oliver’s care and concern are heavy in the bond. He’s pretty terrible with keeping his emotions or feelings to himself. It took some getting used to at first, but now I love it. He’s an open book, and it puts me at ease.
“What in the hell were you thinking?” Mom hisses, once the guys are heading inside the garage. “Do you want to make the same mistakes I did? It’s like you’re dead set on following in my footsteps.”
She takes a step toward me, and for once I don’t retreat.
I’ve worried about her a lot over my lifetime. As a kid I used to do everything in my power to make her happy.
I’d clean the house, cook for her, make sure I didn’t make any noise while she was sleeping all day, and that was before my dads left. Once they were gone, I tried even harder because sometimes it got scary how sad she was.
No matter how much effort I put in, it was never enough. It didn’t make her happy because I don’t think it’s possible for her to be content in life.
I know she hoped I’d never bond after I saw what it put her through when my dads left, but I want different things out of life.
I don’t think you can judge all relationships off one shitty example.
“I’m going back to Virginia with my pack,” I say, giving her a tight smile. “I know you’re struggling financially, and I have savings. When we thought you fell, Oliver was going to hire a home health care nurse or something to help take care of you. You clearly don’t need that, but I’m going to see if I can find some type of agency that has companions or something who can come check on you or take you to the grocery store.”
“No, I don’t want to spend money that was made in a way I don’t agree with. Melody, I’m worried about you. God seeseverything. Do you think he’s pleased with the trash you put out into the world?” Mom sighs, shaking her head.
She really is self-righteous considering she has taken my money since I was sixteen and got a job. Not all of it was smut money, but still. She doesn’t have a job, and I’m starting to worry how she’s going to survive without me.
“Then I’ll ask Oliver or Nik to pay for it.” And I’ll pay them back with myuncleanmoney. “I won’t be around to do those things for you, and I want to be sure you’re taken care of.”
I really think I need some distance from our relationship for a while. I don’t have any plans to keep her from seeing the baby or even coming to visit, but I need a break from the toxic relationship I’ve allowed to develop between us.
“So you’re going to leave just like your fathers did?” she asks with her mouth hanging open. “The world isn’t a kind place. I’ve kept you safe here with me...”
My stomach drops as I realize she really has been navigating and influencing my life with the intention of keeping me here. She didn’t want me to leave her behind, so she encouraged me to put up with Ben’s garbage. I wondered sometimes, but it’s clear that’s the case.
The overwhelming pang of sadness that forms in my gut takes my breath away.
I want more for her than this, but I can’t force her to do anything, and my encouragement over the years has gotten us nowhere.
“I’ll be giving birth sometime in mid to late September, especially since first pregnancies tend to go past their due date. If you’d like to come out and meet the baby, just let me know,” I say, giving her a tight smile.
“What about Ben? You’re going to move halfway across the country and purposely keep his child from him?” She looks at me with disdain, and it pushes me to an ugly place.
“I’m sure you heard the things he had to say when I told him. You didn’t magically pop out only in time to see the altercation. You know what? There’s an idea. You’re so fond of Ben, maybe you can start counting on him to bring you groceries or make sure you have enough money to pay for your medications.” I run my hand over my stomach, reminding myself to stay as calm as possible. “I wish we could’ve been a team. But if nothing else, I appreciate that you taught me a lot about who I refuse to be as a parent. I don’t have a lot of compassion for you at this moment, and I’m afraid I might say some hurtful things.” I toss a finger toward the garage. “So, I’m going to go, but I love you, Mom.”
I give her a tight smile and aim for my guys. I’m going to start setting boundaries and only subjecting myself to healthy relationships. I have to set a good example for the baby, which means being stronger than I was.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Miller
“What the hell are you doing?” I ask, shoving everything from Melody’s bedside table into a small box.
“Speed reading,” Oliver replies without looking up from the book. He’s sprawled across the couch, which is incidentally all in the same room as her bedroom.
There’s a small kitchenette along one wall and a door that leads to a bathroom, but this place is basically smaller than an efficiency apartment.
It’s no great mystery why the house in Virginia overwhelms her. It’s massive to the point of almost being obnoxiously huge.
Even with five of us living there, it doesn’t offset the fact it’s a fucking mansion.
Mel comes in smelling stressed to the max. She ignores Carver and Oli and walks over to a small closet next to the bathroom. She yanks out a couple of old blankets and brings them over to her bed.
She begins to toss them in a circle and I immediately recognize this pattern. She’s building a nest. I grab the box off the end of the bed, tossing it on the floor.
