Page 56 of Savage SEAL's Virgin
It had never occurred to me that Tatum would react the way she had. I looked at Blyss like she had the key to fix the situation, which she didn’t. Instead, she was crying too. The day had been a rollercoaster. Ups and downs were too close together, and I was left feeling like I was about to puke from it all. “Tatum, baby doll, you don’t have to worry, I’m going to come back.”
“What if you don’t?” she wailed.
All I could do was look at Blyss for some help in making the poor little girl feel safe. Blyss looked at me for a long moment, then patted Tatum on the back. “Let’s not think about things like that, Tatum. I’ll be right here. I’ll always be right here,” Blyss said with loving concern. “You have me too, don’t forget,” she reaffirmed.
And that’s when I lost my battle to the waterworks. Tears made their escape as my heart felt as if it was about to burst. “I love you, Blyss.” I squeezed Tatum as I held her in my arms. “And I love you, Tatum. I’ll come back to the two of you and the baby. Come hell or high water, I will come back to you, my family. Never doubt my ability to overcome anything to get back to you.”
Tatum sniffled and looked at me. She wiped her little hands over my cheeks. “Don’t you start cryin’ too, Daddy. Me and Mommy will take care of each other ‘till you get home.”
“That’s my girl.” I kissed her cheek, then handed her over to Blyss. “I need a little bathroom break. You two know how to work a man over, I tell you what.”
Pulling myself together had never been so hard to do, but I did it. That night at dinner we told our baby news. We let that settle before I told everyone about having to leave for a few days for work. That ended the meal on a somber note. Blyss and I pulled my parents to the side to let them know about our real marriage, which would come as soon as I got back. They were ecstatic about it, but my leaving put a damper on what would’ve been a more joyous occasion.
Mom kissed me. “I love you, son. Your life is moving fast. I’m happy for you. And we’ll watch over those you love; you can count on us.”
She knew I needed to hear that. I couldn’t ask her for more. She just knew. I couldn’t take another round of crying. “Thank you, Mom. I’ll be back before you know it.”
“You better,” she told me, then let me go and went up the stairs.
I knew she was holding back tears until she got out of sight. She always managed to do that for me. She was one tough woman.
Dad hugged me and patted me on the back. “I hope we get a grandson, don’t you?”
“A boy would be nice.” I clapped him on the back, too, then we stepped back.
“You know your mother and I have your back. You come on back to us, boy. I’ll hold the fort down until you do.” He ended things with a salute and I felt that lump forming in my throat again as I saluted him right back.
“Thanks, Dad.”
He left us alone, then. Blyss stepped up behind me, running her arms around me and laying her head on my back. “Man, what a fucking cry-fest.”
“I know.” I turned to gather her up in my arms. “I wish there was time for a little romp in the sheets, but there’s not.”
“You sure?” she asked. “Not even a quickie?”
With a moan, I answered, “With you, I can’t do a quickie. If I started that, I’d be court-martialed for not showing up to my post. You understand, don’t you?”
She held me tighter than ever before. “No, I don’t. I don’t understand why someone signs up for something that will take them away from the people who love them. I don’t understand why a person who has a family can be sent on missions where they might be killed.”
“Hush.” I kissed the top of her head. “We never say that word when we’re about to leave. Not ever. I’ll always be yours, Blyss. Always. Now walk me to the Jeep and kiss your man goodbye. When I come back, you’d better be ready to head out and become my wife. I’m not going to let you back out of that.”
Pulling her to one side, I wrapped my arm around her and headed to the garage. I’d said my goodbyes to Tatum and sent her with her grandparents to eat dessert, so I didn’t upset her any more than I already had. After the longest goodbye kiss on record, I started my Jeep and drove away. Blyss waved at me until I couldn’t see her anymore. I felt sick about leaving them.
Somehow, I had to figure out how to shake off all the emotions. I had to clear my head. Things were about to get real. I couldn’t carry the heavy load that was my love for them around while I took care of whatever we had to do.
All the way to the base, I tried to accomplish that one goal, but failed miserably.
Blyss
My life had gone from something that affected literally no one, to affecting many. Troy tried hard to be the soldier he’d been when we first met, but I knew he wasn’t that man anymore. I knew he carried the same weight I did in my heart and soul with the love we’d found for each other, Tatum, and the baby that was in my tummy.
I had to give it to the man—he held a stiff upper lip when he drove away. But I doubted it stayed that way for long. He went off on that mission for the very first time with a couple of kids and a woman he loved, waiting for his safe return. It was an unbearable weight, I was sure.
After reading Tatum books until she fell asleep, I found myself wrapped around her little body, snuggling her. When I woke up in the middle of the night, I left her side. I didn’t want her to get used to sleeping with me. It wouldn’t be right to give her that feeling, then dump her like a hot potato when her daddy got back home.
When I climbed under the blankets of the bed I shared with Troy, it hit me again that he was on a dangerous mission. I couldn’t hold back the tears. I thought about where he was. I thought about the way he’d looked when I’d first set eyes on him. How handsome he’d looked in that tuxedo. Then I wailed. Like a forlorn lover who’d lost her man, I cried and begged God to bring him back to me, as safely and quickly as possible.
If I lost him …
