Page 58 of Savage SEAL's Virgin
I had to think of a way to get them to leave me right where I was. Nothing was coming to mind as they tried key after key to unlock my door. My plan was about to be blown to pieces, as was my body, no doubt!
It was over for me. I knew it was. If I couldn’t take all three of them—men with guns—then I’d be killed. I had one thought on my mind.
Why did I dig that fucking hole?
Blyss
I could’ve stayed in that bed forever if I had been alone. But I wasn’t. I was both thankful for that and annoyed by it. Why couldn’t I be left there to die and join Troy on the other side? Hope was gone for me. I was sure he was dead. I was sure I was left behind. Left with his bun in my oven and his little girl, who had a dead mother and probably a dead father too.
It was her sweet voice that called out to me after I’d spent too much time wallowing in my sorrows. “Mommy, you’re scaring me. Can’t you please get up?”
Could I get up? Could I face the world without Troy?
He was the first person I’d ever loved. Then Tatum came along, and I found I loved her too. I even loved the little baby in my stomach. I loved Troy’s parents and Tatum’s grandparents. How had that all happened in such a short amount of time? I rolled over and saw Tatum’s little face so full of worry. It tugged at my heart strings and had me sitting up. I held out my arms and she came running to me.
Picking her up, I cradled her and rocked us both, trying desperately to comfort both of us. “I didn’t mean to scare you, honey. I’m not used to thinking about other people. I hope you can forgive me.”
“I forgive you, Mommy.” She buried her face in my neck, and I felt warm tears.
“You don’t have to cry. I’m going to get up and be what I’m supposed to be. Your mommy. I got lost in self-pity for a little while. Boy, your daddy would be telling me some things right now if he was here, wouldn’t he?” I laughed to stop myself from crying.
If he were there, he wouldn’t be saying a thing. My mouth would be all over his. Troy’s mother had come in each of those three days I’d hid from the world, leaving me soup and water, and making sure I at least ate a little and drank a little. But she couldn’t pull me out of my pit of despair. Only little Tatum could do that.
She’d become mine. In a small amount of time, I saw her as mine. I was her mother and I had to get my ass out of that bed and be that for her. Especially if Troy was never coming back. I had to be mother and father to her, and I would damn well do it.
Come hell or high water, I’d take care of Troy’s kids!
I looked at my cell and saw it was nine in the morning. As far as I could recall, it was Saturday. “Wanna go to the zoo?”
She nodded, enthusiastically. “Can we?”
“Yes. I’m going to shower and get ready. Can you go see if any of your grandparents want to come too?”
She hopped off the bed, wiped her eyes, and ran out of the bedroom, shouting out that we were all going to the zoo. When I got out of bed, I found my legs were weak and vowed that wouldn’t happen again. Troy was always calling me fragile, and there I was, proving him right. What was wrong with me? After a long shower, I put on shorts, running shoes, and a T-shirt. My hair was in a high ponytail, sunscreen was on, and I was ready to get out of my own head for a while.
The first thing I did when I got downstairs was hug Troy’s mother and father. “Sorry for being so depressed. I have loads of excuses, but none of them matter. What matters is that I’m a mom. Thanks for taking up my slack. I got it from here.”
His dad gave me a pat on the back and a wink that told me he was happy with me. His mom smiled at me with a twinkle in her eye. And we all were on the same page—keep up Tatum’s spirits and keep the baby inside of me healthy. They might be all we would had left of a very wonderful man, so they needed to be taken care of.
Everyone went that day. Troy’s father drove us all to a drive-through safari park and we had a day we’d never forget. The sadness and worry about Troy never left me, but I was able to put it in a place where I could visit it when no one else was around. Tatum needed me and soon so would the baby I carried.
That night, when we got back, the cook was watching the television in the kitchen when we came in from the garage. She spun around to look at us, then went to grab the remote to shut it off.
I grabbed her arm before she could do a thing. “Wait!”
It was a news report about some dead American soldier who was found in a dump outside Kabul. We all waited for the name to come, but the reporter said the family hadn’t been contacted yet. They’d release his name after that.
I had no idea if it was Troy or not, but his father knew for sure. “If it was him, they’d have come to us and told us. It’s not him. He’s still alive. I know he is. We cannot give up hope. Not one of us!”
Mr. Sandoval hugged me. “It’s okay. I know how you feel. Believe me, I do. This brings back such tortuous memories about when we waited to hear about our daughter.”
“I’m so sorry that you have to go through this again,” I mumbled, as that hadn’t even occurred to me. The Sandovals and Tatum had been through the same thing, only that outcome was devastating. Would they have to face such devastation again?
It was then and there that Troy’s mother sat us all down at the dining room table as dinner was about to be brought in. “I haven’t lost hope about my son coming home. That said, I want you to know, Mr. and Mrs. Sandoval, that things will not change if he doesn’t come home. You still have a home here, as does Tatum.” She looked at me. “And you too, Blyss. You and the baby have a home here. We’re not going to split this family up. We owe it to Troy not to do that.”
Silently, we all nodded, and Tatum clutched my hand. “You’ll always be my mommy, right?”
“Always.” I kissed the top of her head. “You can’t get rid of me, Tatum Masterson.”
