Page 70 of Savage SEAL's Virgin
“This is a shit-ton overwhelming. Please don’t sugar-coat things, doc. Now, here’s my plan. I’m going to hold her hand like she said and keep the pain away until the ambulance gets here. I’ve been thinking about it, and I think she sees holding my hand the same way Dumbo held that feather with his nose and thought that’s what made him fly. Whatever the psychological theory is, I’m going that route.”
Blyss’ expression went to one of appalled anger. “I am not Dumbo, Troy! You do realize that’s very insulting, right?”
“Baby, I didn’t call you, Dumbo. You’re taking it out of context because you’re in such bad pain.” I patted her head, then realized I was treating her much like one would a dog, so I stopped.
The doctor was back to bossing me, “Troy, I need you to give things a looksee down there, please. What I want to know is if you see a giant hole where your wife’s vagina used to be.”
“For the love of …” I had to stop as Blyss’ face went beat red.
“I have to push! I have to!”
“NO! No, no, baby. Not yet. Let me just take a little look.”
I didn’t want to look. I wanted to run downstairs and wait for the ambulance, but that was just a bit too cowardly for me.
The doctor said, “How’s she looking?”
“Yeah, hang on. Let me put the phone on speaker and put it down. There we go. And pull the blanket back. Her panties are soaked, and there are some pretty good-sized spots of blood on them too.”
“Get those off her,” the doctor ordered me.
“But they might be all that’s going to keep the baby in until the paramedics get here. I should really leave them on.”
“Pull them off!” both the doctor and Blyss shouted at me.
“Ugh! Fine!” I shimmied them off her and tossed them on the end of the bed. “They’re off. Now what, doc?”
“Bend her knees up so you can see. Don’t act like you don’t know how to look at your wife’s genitals, Troy.”
Blyss went pink. “God, this is awful.”
I didn’t want to do it, but I did. I pushed one knee up, then the other, and squinted as I didn't recognize the place I’d come to know very well. “Um, things look odd down here.”
“Troy!” Blyss yelled at me. “You’re making me feel badly about how I look!”
I shook my head as I looked at her. “Honey, let me tell you that you won’t recognize this either. I mean, it’s oozing and swollen. Frankly, I’m a little afraid it won’t ever look the same. I mean, how can it? Should I get a mirror so you can see too?”
“Troy!” the doctor shouted. “Stop talking like that. You’re going to mentally scar her.”
“Sorry,” I said, then patted Blyss on the leg. “It’s not so bad. I’m sure you’ll be great in no time …”
Her face went red and she began to push. “I can’t stop it this time!”
What looked horrible became worse. “Oh, God.”
“What’s happening?” the doctor asked.
“Something terrible,” was all I could come up with. “Black hair just sprouted in one round patch. How does that even happen?”
“You’re looking at the top of your son’s head, Troy. It looks like you’ll be seeing him soon.”
I smiled at the thought. “Hey, baby, I can see his head. He’s got my dark hair. Don’t worry, it’s not a sudden patch of black pubes that just sprung up.”
Blyss was huffing and puffing as she sweated up a storm. “Troy, please stop fooling around. You’re a freaking Navy SEAL. I know you can handle something as simple as childbirth.”
She was so wrong!
But I couldn’t tell her that. It was time to step up and accept the fact that it would be me who would be bringing my son into the world. “Next kid, you are living in the hospital the entire last month, Blyss.”
