Page 19 of Savage SEAL's Virgin
“This is a pain-relieving antibiotic ointment. There are a few places on your back that will take a few days to heal.” He began rubbing my shoulders as he leaned close to me. “Baby, don’t make me do that again. Please, don’t make me.”
I turned to my side and saw the distraught expression he was wearing. Running my hand over his bearded cheek, I felt sorry for him. “You didn’t like that?”
He shook his head. “I hated it. And you waited so long to call out the safe word.” He shuddered, then hugged me. “Blyss, I don’t like the way you screamed. It was terrible. I felt as if I was killing you.”
I had no idea the sounds I had made were so disturbing. The man had done things like that before. Had the other women not reacted the way I had? Troy pulled back and I found he had a box of tissues. He wiped my eyes, then held one to my nose and I blew. No one had ever done that for me. He was taking care of me. Not that he hadn’t done that the entire time, but this felt different.
I sat up once I’d pulled myself together. “Master …”
“No! Troy. Not master. Not right now.” The look he gave me was stern. “You didn’t do what you were supposed to. You let it go too far.”
“To be honest with you, I think I went right where I wanted to be. I wasn’t crying from the physical pain, exactly. What I felt was much more primal. Isn’t that what’s supposed to happen?”
He sat back on his feet as he looked me over. “Much later it is. Not with your first time doing anything like this. Usually, one strike is given on the first time. Maybe two if the Sub’s pain threshold is high.”
“I think mine is really high.”
He shook his head, surprising me. “I don’t. The way you screamed told me that much.”
“I didn’t think I was screaming more than anyone else would.” He was beginning to make me feel uncomfortable about how I’d reacted and I wasn’t loving it at all. “Troy, did I go overboard?”
He looked at me without so much as blinking. “No. No, I shouldn’t be holding you to any kind of reaction. You reacted in a way that came naturally to you. You had a burst of energy that escaped you. It came out the way it’s meant to, for you. I’m sorry. I’m overreacting so much with you.”
I was too much for the man. That was obvious. “If you want to end our contract …”
His hands gripped my shoulders. “NO! No, I don’t want to end anything. I don’t want you to seek out another Dom. You’re fragile.”
“I am not!” I was getting so tired of him thinking I was breakable.
His grip tightened as he looked into my eyes. “You listen to me, Blyss Danner, you are vulnerable and fragile. You may not like to hear that about yourself. I get it. I really do. You see yourself as a confident, smart woman. And you are that, but you’re also a little girl who was left all alone. Your cry was primal, much more so than any cry I’ve ever heard. I’m never walking away from you. I’m never allowing another person to take you on as a Submissive.”
“While that’s nice of you, I don’t need you to go to that much trouble with me.” He was overstepping his bounds. I hadn’t signed up to be with him forever, the way he was talking about.
“It’s not trouble. I actually feel obligated …”
It was me who stopped him as I put my finger to his lips. “No. Just stop, please. I don’t want you to feel obligated to me. Troy, I came here to learn, and now I see that I can learn even more than I ever thought I could. That release has left me feeling better than I’ve ever felt. Even better than after you and I have sex, and that’s saying something.”
The way he slouched didn’t make me happy. “That made you feel better than sex with me?”
I’d hurt his ego, something I hadn’t meant to do. But was I supposed to lie to him to save his feelings? “Troy, sex with you is great. Better than I knew it would be. But the way I felt, letting something go that was buried inside of me—that was unbelievable. It’s difficult to explain. It felt as if negative energy was shooting out of my head and out of the universe, where it could never harm me again. And I have you to thank for that. Please don’t stop it now.”
“There won’t be any more of that type of thing until your wounds have healed. So don’t even ask for that. But you do seem to need to cry more. You must’ve been a quiet kid.”
“I was told I cried any time I was awake when I was first born, until I went completely through the withdrawal. And then I didn’t cry at all. I was sent from place to place and never got close to anyone. It didn’t bother me to move on.”
“Not even a little?” He looked confused. “You never got close to anything? You didn’t like a place a bit more than what you went to next?”
“Sure, there were places I liked better than others. There were people around who I thought were more interesting than others were. Some were nicer, some were meaner, and some were barely there. It didn’t matter to me; I knew I’d be moved again.”
I hated the way his eyes drooped at the outer corners. I hated the pity I saw in them. He held out his arms, as if I needed to go into them to find solace. I didn’t need him to provide that. I could find that within myself.
Or could I?
I had screamed in a way that frightened him. I had cried in a way he’d never seen and he thought I needed to cry more. Something was definitely wrong with me. I had been denying that for too long. Troy was there to let me know I needed help, even though I didn’t think I did.
Moving into his arms, I let him hold me. “You can let yourself go with me, baby. I’ve got you. You have me and you always will. I love you, Blyss. My love for you is deep and true, and I will never walk away from you. I feel like you and I came together for a reason.”
“I don’t like feeling weak.”
