Page 41 of Savage SEAL's Virgin
“I do love you, Troy. I really do. Please don’t ever think I don’t.” I ran my hands through his thick hair.
He licked his lips, then kissed me. It was soft, sexy, and inviting. My lips parted, accepting him. Our tongues glided and touched, sending energy from one end of my body to the other. It felt as if things were going right back to the way they were meant to be. And that’s when I got a chill that told me to watch out. That was the first time I’d gotten that feeling. The kind of feeling you get when you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I had a gorgeous man who loved me desperately. I had more money than most. I had it all.Now, who’d try to end me?
Troy pulled his mouth from mine, as I’d clutched the collar of his shirt. “You okay, baby?”
I couldn’t seem to let him go. “I suddenly got really afraid that this great time might not last.”
“We’ll have troubles now and again, Blyss. Nothing goes smoothly forever. And if it did, what would be the fun in that?” He pried my hands off him and pushed them to the sides of my head. Then he kissed me again. “Don’t be afraid what might happen. Just love me here in this time and space.”
My apprehension eased, but I felt it linger in the back of my mind. A new thing to fuck with me, it seemed. Would life ever just get easy for me?
Troy
The week flew by and I could see Blyss was getting antsy about leaving. “I should go find an apartment near the campus, Troy.”
“What about doing online classes from here, like we talked about?” I asked her as she swung on the porch swing on the back patio. I’d found out that she could easily do the classes and I could take an extended leave of absence from my naval obligations. I just felt like she was jumping the gun, wanting to hop back into her old life. “Don’t you like it here?”
“Are you kidding me? Who wouldn’t love it here? I mean, your mom and dad are spectacular. Like no one I’ve ever met. You’re so lucky to have them. You really have to make more visits to your home, Troy. Your mom told me you hardly ever visit. This is the longest you’ve been here since you have been in Navy.”
“And I’m not trying to leave now. You are, though. Why is that, exactly? Because I think you’re trying to run away from your feelings, Blyss. Am I, right?”
“By going to school, I’m running away from my feelings? I don’t see how you even came up with that.”
“So tell me what’s wrong with staying here and taking some more time for ourselves. Tell me why you feel the need to rush off after only a week here? Do you really hate it? Just tell me if you do.”
“I don’t hate it.” She cast her eyes down and got off the swing. “It’s just all a bit too comfortable. That’s all.”
“Excuse me for making your life easy, Blyss!” I rolled my eyes and went to take her by the arms. “Look at me.”
She pulled her eyes up to meet mine and I found defiance in them. “I love you. But I want to know I can do things on my own, too.”
“I think you’ve already proven that, Blyss. You’ve lived your life alone up until you met me. I think if you’re addicted to anything, the way you say you are to me, it’s being a loner.”
Her shoulders slumped and she sighed. “Maybe you’re right.” Then she looked back at me. “But I need to know that for myself. I need to be away from you. If I miss you so badly that it hurts, then it’s you I’m addicted to.”
“You will miss me that way. And I’ll miss you that way. That’s what people in love do. They miss the fuck out of each other. You’re not stupid. Stop acting like you are. And stop trying to run away from what we have. This is a real life, Blyss Danner. Deal with it!”
“It’s not that easy, Troy. You don’t understand. I know things won’t always be good. I just know it.” She jerked her shoulders, and I let her go.
I could walk away from her. I could let her go. But what would it accomplish?
“You know your therapist told you that she needed to see you more, but you haven’t gone to this new one but once. Why is that?”
She turned away, unable to look at me. “It’s because she thinks you and I are great for one another. Okay? She’s one of your high school best friend’s mothers, for Christ sakes! She’s never going to tell me that I need you too much.”
“Maybe because she’s smart. I have to admit, you do need to finish college, if for nothing else than to learn more about your own mental hang-ups.”
Her hands flew into the air as her face turned red. “You don’t know anything! Nothing at all! I have issues.”
“Yeah, I know.”
She stopped then. Her brow furrowed and she walked away from me. She went inside, and I took her place on the swing to think about things. Things like why I was trying so fucking hard to get her to stay with me.
I’d miss her, but she’d miss me too. She’d come back. I knew she would. I shook my head. That was a lie. I didn’t think she’d ever come back if she left. I knew she’d go back to being a loner. It was safe that way. She would never admit it, but she wanted that safe little life back.
How could I blame her?
