Page 44 of Savage SEAL's Virgin
I nodded. She was right. I knew I was running from fear, and that’s never a good thing. But I was far from ready to make any real commitments to Troy. But I didn’t want to leave him.
“I should give him a call. I should tell him that I want to go to school on campus. I get more out of it that way. But I should give him the choice to come with me or not. I didn’t mean to hurt him, and I know I have.” I looked at my therapist with tears in my eyes. “What if he doesn’t want me anymore? What if he thinks I’m too messed up?”
“He’s well aware of what all you’ve been through and he loves you, despite it all. I think you can trust in the love he has for you and it being long-lasting, Blyss. But even if something happens and that love is lost, it doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. People go on after a love they thought would last forever ends. It happens. People get over it. But it leaves you with the experience, and that’s a good thing. It makes us more well-rounded.”
She was making sense. “You’re right. So, I should give him a call, tell him what I really want to do, and see if he wants to come with me, right?”
“I don’t know why you’re asking me that question. Aren’t you an adult?” She smiled and winked at me as she got up. “I’m going to leave you with that thought. If you do go to Stanford, give me a call. I can refer you to a colleague of mine who practices there. That way I can share what you and I have worked on, helping you to get past that initial consultation stage.”
I hopped up and walked her to the door. She surprised me with another hug, and I hugged her back. “Thank you, Sharon. You’re pretty great. I hope I can be as helpful as you are one day.”
“You’ll be a fine psychologist, Blyss. It’s always good to seek help when you need it, even if you have tons of education about such things. When looking at others, it’s much easier to pinpoint their needs. It’s harder to do that for ourselves.”
“I can see that. I’ll be in touch.”
Closing the door behind her, I leaned back on it. Did I really want to go to college on campus, or was that just a way to escape back into solitude?
There were decisions to make. So many of them. And I was trying to rush things. I needed to take a step back and evaluate everything. I needed to take my time and calm the hell down. I had just been through a very traumatic event, after all. Now was not the time to make big decisions. Troy was right about that. He was trying to protect me and help me get better, both physically and mentally. And for his help and concern, I ran off.
What a bitch move!
Taking my cell out of my pocket, I made the call to him. I had to fix my mess, and I prayed Troy was still willing to help a fool like me.
Troy
“What do you mean, I’m some girl’s father and she wants to see me? I can’t be her father. Maria and I messed around.” I stopped myself as I thought about the fact that this was her father I was talking to. “We dated for only a week. How could I be her kid’s father?”
Mr. Sandoval’s tone was stern, “I shouldn’t have to explain the facts of life to you. You should be well aware of how things work in that department.”
“I know how that all works. I just don’t know why she wouldn’t have told me about being pregnant. Do you know why she would keep the kid a secret, sir?”
“She didn’t want to burden you, is what she told us. Her mother and I have taken care of Tatum this last year, after her mother’s death. She’s always lived with us. This little girl is more than just special to us, Mr. Masterson. She is all we have left of our daughter. I don’t want to give her up. I won’t give her up. But she wants to know you, her father, and I don’t want to deny her that.”
“Sir, with all due respect, isn’t she better off not knowing me? If you want to keep her, won’t that interfere with her and I making any kind of a real bond? And where is it that you live anyway?”
“Santa Ana is where we live. And I’ve thought the very same things you have. We’ve talked to her a lot about how she’d have to go for a night or two because of the distance. We know you reside at the base in San Diego. Maria has kept tabs on you. Your family owns a winery in Napa Valley too. With Maria’s death, we’ve lost track of you, have there been any major changes in your life since then?”
“Such as?” I felt he was getting at something. The man spoke on the evasive side, it seemed.
“Maria told us that you were a man who dated many women. In my culture, we call that a mujeriego—a womanizer. And that’s not the kind of man I want in Tatum’s life. I’d rather tell her that her father was also killed in action if that’s the case. So, is that the case, Mr. Masterson?”
Was I still that kind of man? I knew I had been, right up until I fell for Blyss. But if Blyss was truly gone, would I go back to that lifestyle?
Weighing my true feelings, I knew I was committed to Blyss. I had tons of hope she’d come back soon. I knew she’d miss me. “No, I’m no longer that man, sir.”
“That’s good to hear. I have one more thing I’d like to know. You see, if you are a single man, I see no reason to bring this little girl into that kind of life. I want her to have a couple she can come to know as her family too. If you’re an unmarried man, I won’t take this any further.”
“Unmarried?” I asked as I shook my head.Who did this guy think hewas?“Look, Mr. Sandoval, if this kid is mine, you damn well better know that I could take her if I wanted to, no matter what the circumstances are. I have more money than most to get the best lawyers. Maria never gave me the slightest clue that I had a kid. That’s got to be illegal.”
“We’ll leave the country with her, and you’ll never find us. I have connections that could help us do just that. We’re aware of your great wealth, Mr. Masterson. We’ve always been prepared to hide her if that became necessary. Like I said before, we love her, and we’ll do anything for her. That includes giving her the father she’s asking for, but only if you are a man I feel can love her the way only a father can. If you haven’t even gotten married yet, and you’re already in your thirties, then I know you aren’t the right kind of man to be in her life. Don’t think you can push me around. You cannot!”
The wheels in my head were turning.I had a daughter!
Did I want one? Was I ready to be there for a child? Did I have a choice?
If the kid was mine, I owed it to her to give her the life she could have as my child. How could I deny my own blood what was truly hers? How could I live with myself, knowing there was a little girl who wanted her daddy and that’s all she asked for on her birthday, no less, but I had refused her?
The answer was plain and simple. I couldn’t. “I’m married, Mr. Sandoval. My wife and I have been together for less than a year. We live in Napa Valley now, at my family home. I’d love nothing more than for you and your wife to bring Tatum here. But first, I want a DNA test done to be sure. I see no reason for me or this child to begin a relationship until it’s certain that I am her father.”
