Page 64 of Rockstar Untamed
“What else could I have done? I had to end it one way or another.”
He gazed at her for a long time. Sailor had become perhaps even more of a beautiful woman as she outgrew her puppy fat, although she still retained the curves that made men weep, Claudio thought. He felt ashamed. This young woman had been through hell, and he had just almost killed her for no reason. “You said you have a daughter?”
She nodded. “I was two weeks pregnant when Bart stabbed me. She’s a little badass, she survived it, and now she’s four and running us ragged.”
“She takes after her mom.”
Sailor smiled a little hesitantly. “Her name is Soleil,” she said softly, and Claudio felt a thrill of pleasure rip through him.
“Thank you,” he whispered, tears on his cheeks again. He gathered himself. “Do you have a photograph?”
Sailor nodded and got up to find her purse. She saw she had a raft of calls from Bodhi, but restrained herself from calling him. Talking to Claudio was the priority now. She found some photos of Solly and handed him her phone. Claudio smiled at he looked at her daughter.
“She’s beautiful,” he said softly. Sailor stood next to him and put her head on his shoulder.
“She would love to know you.”
Claudio handed her the phone, his face stricken with grief. “I can’t…”
“Just think about is all I ask,” Sailor said and pressed her lips to his forehead.
Claudio rubbed his face, looked deep in thought for a long moment. “Sailor…I would like your help with something.”
“Anything.”
He held up his hand. “It may shock you, or upset you, but I think it has to be done.”
“Okay.” She had no idea where he was going with this. Claudio beckoned her.
“Come with me.”
He led her back to his workshop and shoved open the door wide. He motioned for her to follow him to the back of the room. A stack of canvas lay there, and Sailor saw that there was maybe fifteen or twenty, covered with a tarpaulin. Claudio hesitated then removed the tarp.
Sailor rocked back. The first canvas was unmistakably her, dead, butchered. She gave a small cry and backed off.
Claudio raised his hand. “Please. Don’t be afraid. I’m not showing you to hurt you. These paintings…they are the result of my fear, my grief. I mean you no harm, Sailor, I swear. I would like you to help me burn these. I don’t want to be reminded of my…unjustified…feelings now. Let’s burn these and put an end to it.”
Sailor stared at him for a long moment and then nodded. She helped him carry all of the canvases out into the yard, and they piled them up. She tried not to look at them, but sometimes she would catch a glimpse and be sickened. Claudio saw her face, and she saw he was ashamed.
When they had set the pile alight, they stayed o watch them burn. “I will seek counseling,” Claudio promised her, putting his arm around her shoulders. “And I’m sorry, Sailor, I truly am.”
“Then come and see your godchild,” she urged him, “Come see your best friend. Bodhi is still devastated over your estrangement. Please.”
Claudio looked away from her. “I can’t,” he said, “too much time has passed.”
“Don’t you think, Claudio, that if you and I can reach this place, you and Bodhi can too?” Sailor felt despairing; if Claudio didn’t reconcile with Bodhi, then what had she just gone through for?
Sailor felt tears threatened and Claudio took her face in his hands. “Beautiful Sailor, I am sorry. For what I thought, for what I did. For assaulting you today. Please forgive me.”
“I do forgive you,” Sailor was weeping now, “I just can’t bear to see you both so miserable without each other.”
“I deserve the misery,” he said and walked her back to her car. Sailor opened the door but shut it again quickly.
“We’re getting married. Next August, here in Italy. If you won’t come before then, please, come be with us at our wedding. At least,” she was desperate now, “at least promise me you’ll think about.”
Claudio held her gaze. “I will. I will think about it, I swear.”
Sailor gave him one last hug and got into her car. As she drove down the hillside, she could see the fire blazing, a figure, standing in front of it, still watching her drive away.
