Page 45 of Filthy Commitments
He tossed the bottle in the trash then headed back to me. “I know.” He laid down next to me and sighed. “I thought I knew how to slow down with you. I guess I don’t.”
“Learn.” I closed my eyes and tried not to think the man was crazy, but it was hard.
“You know, I know this guy from the club, and he paid a sub to have his baby. They didn’t know each other at all. They had a baby, and only a few months after he was born they got married. They’re like happy as shit now.”
“Great,” I mumbled as sleep was taking me over. “I’m happy for them. Night, Jett. No baby-talk right not. Love you.”
The things billionaires would pay for was staggering. The list just kept growing. Men who’d pay a complete stranger to have their baby? What else would they pay for?
Jett’s lips touched my cheek. “Okay, I get it. I do. You need it all. You need a real commitment from me first.”
I rolled over to face him and managed to open my eyes. “I don’t want a commitment just so you can have a baby. When and if we get to that stage, I want you to ask me to marry you because you can’t stand to live without me.”
“I see.” He kissed the tip of my nose. “Well, I’m probably that way now.”
“Probably. See, you don’t know yet, and I don’t either. Time, Jett. We need some time.”
He turned over and closed his eyes. “Fucking time! The root of all evil. Good night. I’ll leave you alone about it.”
I knew I was right about not having a baby. I knew what I was saying was sane, rational, even very smart. But seeing Jett disappointed was hard to take.
There he was, supposed to be relaxed and falling asleep. Instead, his body was rigid, his arms crossed over his chest, his lips forming a hard line. He was anything but relaxed.
Lying next to him, I could feel the tension radiating off him. I hated it.
Easing up to him, I pulled one of his arms around me and laid my head on his broad chest. “I love you.”
“I love you.” He took in a breath, sniffing my hair. “Get some sleep. We have a long ass day tomorrow it seems. I get to meet the parents. That should be weird.”
“Yes, it should. Night.”
He was quiet for a minute. But his body wasn’t relaxed. I wasn’t sure why that was until he whispered, “If you’re still awake just nod if you’ll think about talking about having a baby in the not too distant future.”
What was I supposed to do?
I could act as if I was asleep. He wasn’t sure if I was or not. I could nod, but would that be fair to myself?
My plans didn’t include babies. Not in the near future, anyway. I knew I wanted kids someday. Not that day, or even year. I had another year of school to get through. And now I had to incorporate Jett into that too. Adding a pregnancy and then a baby to that workload would be stupid and really hard.
But I nodded. I nodded because making Jett happy was what I had done since the get-go. I was his purchase, that was what I was supposed to do. Just because we said some words that were supposed to make that fact go away, it hadn’t been erased from my brain.
Do as Jett wants, keep him happy. That’s your job.
But that wasn’t supposed to really be my job any longer. We were dating. A couple, not a Dom and his sub. Yet, there it was, me nodding to make him happy.
And when he sighed and held me tighter, it made me feel great. I’d made him happy.
Good girl.
But I didn’t feel like it was mentally healthy for me to strive to be a good girl. Not if it meant putting my dreams and aspirations to the side to make him or anyone else happy.
I had to do what was right for me. And that was to get through with school and get going on my career before I committed to anything else. A marriage or a baby.
Jett Simmons had some hard facts that would come his way soon. My agenda was important. I had things to do. He was a summer project, meant to fix my financial situation.
It was bad enough I’d fallen in love with the man I was never supposed to. But I wasn’t throwing my life away by handing myself over to the man.
Here you go, Jett. Here’s my body. Do with it as you want. Put a ring on it. Put a baby in it. Anything you want.
