Page 19 of For Love & Torture
She’s perfectly still for a moment, staring a hole in me. “I’m new to this.”
“Then you should get yourself a man who is also new to this, shouldn’t you? You vanilla little twat.” I suck in my breath, unsure of why I just called her such an ugly thing. “Go. You should go now.”
She takes my warning and hauls ass out of the room. I fall onto a chair that’s meant to restrain a submissive and bury my face in my hands.
Why did I do that?
Why did I lose control?
Is Isabel worth me losing my mind over? And why do I feel this way?
I know what’s best for us. I know I’m not the man she thinks I can be. So why can’t I do it? Why can’t I go back to being me?
I need a drink, and fast. And some manly talk, too. Fuck, I need something, and I need it now.
Putting my shirt back on and pulling on the tuxedo jacket, I push my hand through my hair to fix it a bit before walking out of the private room, alone.
The hallway where the private rooms are located is dark with intermittent red and green lights above each door. The sounds coming from the doors with the red lights tell me the occupants are all getting what they came here for.
Moans, groans, the snaps of various whips and chains make my heart pump that much harder.
Damn, how badly I want to join in. What dreams I had about the first night and all the debauchery I would take part in. But Isabel and her damn desire for something real with me has ruined it all.
I walk out of the hallway and head straight to the bar, stopping dead in my tracks as I see her sitting there, a man talking to her much too closely.
What the fuck is she doing?
“Isabel!” I shout across the room, like a mad man.
I move with great speed across the rest of the room and find my hand on the shoulder of the man who dares to get that close to the woman I’ve just been intimate with in front of all of them.
All I can do is look at her as the man quickly leaves us alone—I didn’t even have to say a thing to him and off he went. “Really, Mr. J., was that necessary?” Isabel rolls her eyes, which are still covered with the mask she’s worn since the night began.
She reaches for her drink, a cranberry cocktail from the looks of it, but I catch her by the wrist, pulling her up and making her follow me. “You and I have to set some ground rules it seems.”
“Didn’t I just see you walk out of the hallway where the private rooms are?” I stop and turn to look at her, finding a frown on her pretty lips.
“Never mind about me.” I turn and tug her hand, taking her to my private sky box. It overlooks the whole ground floor. A bird’s eye view of the festivities.
Once I have her inside, I turn to her, pressing her body between mine and the door. “Grant, don’t.”
“Do not tell me what to do.” Breathing her in, I find the animal in me going insane.
Is this jealousy?
It feels like far more than mere jealousy. But it’s real, and I really hate it.
Purposely, I take a step back and turn away from her. My shoulders slump as I put my head in my hands. I’m overwhelmed by the flood of adrenaline that’s coursing through me.
Her hand is on my shoulder, soft and comforting. “Grant, things don’t have to be this way.”
Her words only make me angrier. “Look.” I spin around and grab her by her arms, stopping her from touching me. Her touch does something to me, and I can’t take it. “You have no idea the demons that reside in me. You have no clue. No one does. And that’s the way I want it. No, that’s the way I demand it to be.”
“Do you want me to resign? Is that it?” She stares deeply into my eyes and I loosen my hold on her.
“You can’t resign. The five-year contract holds you to this place. But I don’t want you out mingling. Can you understand that? I can’t see men hitting on you. I can’t do it. You’ll have to stay in your office. At least when I’m here.”
The concern in her eyes from moments before is now gone, leaving them vacant as she looks at me. “I understand you, Grant. I do. But you should understand that I care about you, and I think you need to see someone about all this anger and the demons you’ve just told me about. That’s not healthy for you.”
